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My own poverty – Day 1 Ethiopia

21 Feb

I made it safely to Addis Ababa.

It was good to see the sweet faces of our staff, and much to my surprise the beautiful woman at the hotel, Hannah, recognized me for before and greeted me with so much warmth.

“Welcome back,”  she said enthusiastically and her gracious smile made me feel a bit like I was home for some reason.

The dogs barking outside my window this morning woke me at 4 am.  Then the jet lag kept me awake.  It’s 5 am, and all I can think about it how good the coffee at breakfast will be.  Ethiopian’s say they invented coffee, and let me tell you my friends, it’s darn good!

I am feeling an overwhelming sense of thankfulness in this early early morning.  My bed was so comfy, the internet works, my luggage made it, I am with a wonderful group from Tri Lakes Chapel, but most of all, I feel God’s presence this morning.  I can’t wait to hear from Him this week and see what He has in store for me and this group.

When I left my house yesterday morning, I had a knot in my stomach and I was having a hard time letting go.  Yes, I alluded to this yesterday in my blog.  I left my babies in the wee hours of the morning and saying good bye to Stephen was sad.  My flight from Portland to Chicago was lonely, and I hung out in the Chicago airport by myself for another four hours.  Of course, once the group arrived, my extroverted self was happy to have new friends and company, but thoughts of home continued to fill my mind.  Why so hard this time?

I laid in bed last night and thought about it.  I have some things in my life I need to work on.  The details of life are becoming more important then the living.  I am not the wife I should be.  I am not the mother I should be.  I am not the child of God I should be.  I am not taking enough time to care for those things that fill my soul and matter most.  I am not exercising like I should.  I am not eating as I should.  The list could go on.

So then why travel?  Well…the timing is good.  Sometimes God has to pull me out of the daily grind, and refocus me.  Sometimes He has to get my attention by giving me moments of loneliness and experiences that show me what truly is important. So I am leaving the details for someone else for awhile,  so that I can soak in the presence of the HOLY and Living God in an amazing place like Ethiopia.

I really can’t think of a better place to be this week to hear from God.  The Ethiopian Christians are power house believers. They may have physical poverty, they may lack the things that I have, the meals, the shelter, the fresh clean water.  And of course there are those that still need the good news of a God who loves them.  Some live in hopelessness, despair and a constant feeling of powerlessness within their impoverished circumstances. Imagine having nothing and without any hope.

But the Christians here are rich in their faith.  My own spiritual poverty becomes more obvious…and I recognize just as they need my help,  I need their help for my spiritual poverty.  For sin and sin and I am no better.   God did not curse those that are poor, He is not punishing them, on the contrary, He is with the poor.  The Ethiopian Church is rich in their faith, and we in American are rich in our pockets.

Not too long ago, I heard someone preach that God will take care of all of our needs. And then they went on, when we trust Him, He will give us food,   shelter and water.  Humm…These words were confusing to me, because in this country I meet Christians who are starving, without water, without shelter.    While we at home have full pantries, cars to drive, the ability to eat out in restaurants costing as much as what they may make here in a month, our brothers and sisters, Christ followers struggle to get their physical needs met.  Yet their faith is  so strong! The hunger for Christ, they breath His name and they are filled with the Spirit of a Living God.

Man does not live on bread alone.

We have something they need, and they have something we need. God is providing our needs right in front of our very eyes, but it’s up to us to see it and obey.  Sponsoring a child, yes this is one way, but there are many other ways to help our brothers and sisters in need.

God is with the poor.

Is HE with us in our wealth and busy lives? Yes, but we often can’t see Him because these things easily become our little gods instead.

I look forward to my week and soaking it all in and listening, and praying and seeing the children, being with those who God loves and calls for us to serve.

Indeed God is faithful!

Please forgive me in all my typo’s, grammar, and writing mistakes.  I don’t have time to edit much so give me grace:)

 

Not an ordinary Monday

20 Feb

Today, I am on my way for another adventure.  4 hours down, 22 hours to go until I land in Ethiopia.  This is my 3rd time to Ethiopia; a place of ancient culture, and beautiful and intelligent people.   I look forward to learning and seeing what God has for me on this trip and  being surrounded by vibrant Believers of our faith. I look forward to the music and the children and dancing!

I was so crazy busy last week preparing to leave while still managing all the details of my job with Compassion, and managing the life of being a mother and wife. It seems like since the new year, life has been whizzing by and the details of the day to day activities have consumed my time and all my thoughts.  My three teen children have schedules to keep and places to go, and of course Stephen has his travel too and I am in the midst of planning 40 plus Short Term Mission’s Trips for churches who partner with Compassion.  And in all the details, I often get lost in the list of things to do, I scratch off my accomplishments, only to find a brand new list waiting.   It never seems to slow down, so it’s up to me to slow it down.

But now it’s time to let go and trust God in the timing of it all.   I will be in a time zone 13 hours ahead of home, which sort of makes me shift gears.

I get so busy sometimes, I forget to see God in it all.

It’s time to see God.  It’s time to listen, and I look forward to being with HIM in this foreign land.

But…

I had a hard time letting go…maybe still having a hard time.

I have a hard time saying goodbye…it feels lonely sometimes.

I know that God has a plan for me and for this group and in this trip, I get to see Christ in the eyes of the little ones who have nothing but their faith to count on day by day.  I get to touch Christ through holding their little hands.

So I will blog if I can, and if I can’t, well…you all know that I am safe in His presence and will look forward to sharing the stories later. I do pray I have internet, as this is the way I keep connected to my family too.  It’s hard to be disconnected from the ones I love the most.

This is my Monday.

 

 

 

 

Female Friday – The Feast

17 Feb

Last night, we celebrated our final dinner together for a couple of weeks.   My girls leave for a retreat tonight, they get home late Sunday night, and then I leave for Ethiopia on Monday morning.  It’s bitter sweet.  Everyone is excited about what they are doing, but saying goodbye and separating is the hardest part.

We gathered around the table and had a nice meal that we had prepared together. ( I like the potato and broccoli dish that Isabel designed.)

You know… there are times I fail as mom…miserably.

There are times my three girls fight and make me crazy.

There are times Steve and I argue.

There are times I grow frustrated.

There are times of stress, and anxiety and days I am way too busy for my own good.  But something seems to happen at night when we sit down to gather around a meal at this table.   (Please notice the girl scout cookies in the upper right hand corner that have been invited to the table).

And then we say grace for what He has given us and we pray for those who are in need.

Isaiah 25:6
6 “And the Lord of hosts will prepare a lavish banquet for all peoples on this mountain; a banquet of aged wine, choice pieces with marrow, and refined, aged wine.

We are grateful for the feast!!

        ( BTW -we eat more then Girl Scout cookies such as protein and vegetables!!)

Certainly there are times we argue at this table, and there are tears; but other days there is so much laughter and fun…like when we eat chocolate fondue.

Yes, we kiss at this table and often I hold Isabel’s hand underneath the table because she always sits next to me.

The table is a spiritual place filled with stories of our lives and this table deserves credit.  I try to honor this table with beautiful meals, candles and place settings.  There is something to be said about dressing up a table for a feast to help set a mood!

Out of all my travels in the world here is my favorite spot.  You all know it.  I write about it frequently and I would say that every family needs a place like this where they commit to gathering.  This is the place where love happens and we are fed both in body and in spirit.

I will miss my table when I am gone.  I always think about it while I travel and I look forward to coming back and sitting in my chair.Preview

His precious presence

6 Feb

Sunday morning

I looked out on the crowd at church from my corner where I sit and watched her stand; a woman who usually is isolated to her wheel chair, she is the first to stand up and sing this song.

“I will rise when He calls my name, no more sorrow, no more pain.”  (Tomlin, Giglio, Maher, Reeves)

Watching her worship brought tears to my eyes.  Her small frame, recently disabled by a disease she didn’t ask for, her hands held high toward Heaven, her face beaming, her eyes closed, she smiles as she reaches for His presence.

Monday afternoon

I hear news today from one of my very best friends in the world.  “I have cancer.”

She doesn’t have all the answers yet, she needs to go in for surgery, but this news distracted me all day and I am upset because I can’t fix it.

Yet, she shares these words from her devotions this morning.

“Lift up empty hands of faith to receive My precious presence”

Between the Superbowl parties, the birthdays, the travels and the lessons of life, I often forget to lift up my hands to receive His precious presence.  Why is it in our pain we are reminded to do this? 

And as the sun sets on another day of life, I look out on the sky tonight from my office… which also happens to be Isabel’s bedroom, and I am reminded that each day, each and every day is such a precious gift to be lived out in the fullest.

With our breath, our bodies, our minds and our spirit, and every ounce of living we have, we need to LIVE in the big open space of His precious presence.  Oh His mercies are new every morning and His grace is sufficient and wonderful and His presence brings us comfort, peace and strength.

I get so busy sometimes ya know…I spend time doing stupid things or I forget to find meaning in the tasks that truly are important, like looking in the eyes of my girls, or holding Stephen’s hand.

And when we reach for His precious presence…I believe that HE swoops us up like a child an embraces us. Don’t you just want to be held sometimes?

Psalm 57:10 For great is your love, reaching to the heavens, your faithfulness reaches to the skies.  (NIV version)

Was it worth it?

21 Jan

Early on this Saturday morning I sat at my computer looking at my daughter on skype with her puffy red eyes as she sat next to my husband in a hotel in India.

“Mom, I just can’t blog about my day yet.  It’s too much.”

She would try to tell me stories of her day with her Compassion child, Remya, but I could recognize that her  11 year relationship with Remya, living oceans apart, sharing faith and friendship through many letters,  being teenagers together, being of the same faith, brought a deep sense of God’s grace and mercy into the lives of these girls.

God orchestrated this day in His perfect timing; Remya’s birthday on Friday, Stephen needing to build this trip during this time of the year, and both girls getting close to finishing high school.  Julia needs to take a moment to process what God brought today.  Why this bond? Why this love?  A holy day.  God was in this day, and no doubt the day was pure joy, but parting was bitter sweet.

As I lay awake all night, waiting to hear how the day was going…like a good movie or a book, when the skype call came in, I dove for the computer, but my girl had no words, she just shook her head and wiped the tears.

Last night I had the joy of skyping with Julia and Remya before they set out on the day.

I have met her and her mother, and I love them like family.  I don’t understand this love being that they aren’t family and we have never spent much time together.  So all I can attribute it to is something deeply spiritual that God has done to give us a glimpse of His love for us.  His sacrifice.  And when I think of the two of them being together, sharing letters, time and tears, I have to ask myself, was it worth the money we gave all these years?  11 years, and over $5000.  I remember this little girl of mine at age 5 coming to me with Remya’s picture begging to sponsor her.  Was it worth it?

Did God ask that question when he sacrificed for us?

Money is nothing when you have these moments.  It is more than worth it. And somehow I don’t feel like we sacrificed.  It was in our giving we received the blessing, and today Julia encountered the blessing of the gift.

Yesterday was crazy.  One minute I am skyping with Julia and Remya with tears in my eyes, the next moment I am taking Grace to Urgent Care for an infection.

In the rush of life, I pause this morning to recognize the beauty of the holy moments, grateful that my baby girl at age 16, shared it with her Kingdom friend.  Possibly they will meet again, possibly not.  But something beautiful happened and I look forward to hearing her story…and I’m praising God for blessing that came to my baby girl today.  It was worth every cent.

Julia will post soon so stay tuned.

India, Six Days…. By Julia

10 Jan

Great news friends.  Julia is going to be our guest blogger on Jonesbones5 for the next couple weeks.  I am a proud mama and I can’t wait to read along.  Of course I am absolutely having to let go and trust God with her heart and life, but thankful my husband will be with her.  Anyway, it’s a long time and coming, and in a few days she will head off for an adventure.  I hope you read along!  

INDIA, Six Days…by Julia

In six days I will be waking up at the crack of dawn, heading to the airport, and boarding my flight to India.

Eleven years ago, I was standing at a little Compassion booth that was set up in my church. My dad told me to pick a little girl that was born the same year I was. I found a packet with a beautiful girls picture adorning it.

Her name was Remya, she lived in India; I told my dad that I wanted to sponsor her. I wrote my first letter and sent it off. That day was the start of a beautiful friendship.

In 2009, my mom had the chance to go to India, and on that trip, my mom met Remya.

 On the day my mom met Remya, I received a phone call, my mom told me that Remya was right by her and wanted to say hello to me. She handed the phone to Remya. I could practically see the smile on Remya’s face the way she was giggling. I couldn’t help myself from crying. Tears poured down my face as she told me that she loved me. I told her I loved her too. I knew at that moment that I had to go to India to meet this giggling girl. I had to see her and hug her and tell her just how much I loved her in person. I had to tell her how beautiful she was and how much God loved her. When my mom came home from the trip she looked at me and said, “We have to find a way to get you to India, you will adore her.”

My dad planned the trip and here we are, heading to India in just six days. But now that the trip is almost here, I don’t know how to feel. Thoughts and feelings are racing through my head a mile a minute, trying to distract me from God. There is a spiritual battle going on in my heart. Worry and anxiety are in the place of peace, fear and premeditated failure in the place of excitement. I think over the smallest details, like, what if I can’t think of anything to say to Remya? I would laugh if someone else had expressed that anxiety to me, just out of the sheer stupidity. I would tell anyone else that they were worrying about something preposterous, that when the time comes, God will give them the words they need to say, I would tell them to have fun and let go of expectations. But I find myself worrying anyway. Don’t get me wrong here, I am extremely excited to go on this trip, I just have my moments of worrying.

Last Sunday, my pastor called my dad and me up to the stage, for the congregation to pray over us. I asked that they pray over our hearts, as India is a dark place and no doubt we will be vulnerable to the devils attack. Knowing that I have people who are praying over my dad and me, even before this trip, has helped put my mind at ease. It has helped me focus on preparing for the trip and setting my heart on the Lord.

Tonight I’m feeling excited, ready to go. I’m wishing that the trip would start tomorrow. I’m glad to have more time to prepare logistically and to prepare my heart. But I do feel a lot like a kid the week before Christmas. These are going to be a long six days waiting to go.  Waiting for this moment I have thought about for many years.  6 more days.

When your children become angry

7 Jan

Having a mother in law who also happens to be a marriage and family therapist often comes in handy.  My girls will often book time with Grandma when they need to deal with an issue.  She helps them come up with some practical tools to use for handling their difficult situations and I figure we owe her thousands of dollars for free therapy.

One of the things lately she has helped them with is identifying their triggers.  What are those things that can lead them to spiral emotionally?

With three teenage girls, it’s important for our sanity to come up with some tools and boundaries around the sibling rivalry.  It’s important for all of us to recognize the triggers that make us get angry and take a bad situation and make it worse.

There are several things that we can look at.

What is happening in your body when you are getting angry?  Such as a stomachache, tightening of our grip, red face, rapid breathing etc.

What is happening in your thoughts?  What are some things you are feeling. You may feel like you are inferior, threatened, or a loss of control, unhappy, or things are unfair etc.

What are the things you do or want to do when you become angry? Stomping, laying down on the ground kicking and screaming, hitting something or someone, and….biting.

What are some external things affecting you?  Hormones, lack of sleep, stress, and poor diet etc. divorce, death, sickness.

I remember when Julia was little and she use to have these moments that she would become Matilda. Matilda is the name we called the alternate child that would appear every once in a while and throw some marvelous tantrums.  For those who know Julia, I am sure it’s so hard to imagine gentle Julia doing this (wink wink), but as her parents we were at a loss to ways to manage the times Matilda came.  And what we realized is that Julia didn’t like herself during these times either.  So back in the day, my mother in law told us to help her recognize the triggers.  What was going on when she would start to spiral?   So Julia started to recognize those times that she was heading down the road to Matilda, and even as young as 3 or 4 years old, she started to put her self in a time out.  She would go and be by herself until she calmed down.  She still does this and it’s a handy little tool to help her manage her emotions. Once in a while she jokes and says, “I feel like Matilda is coming, I am going to go work out at the gym.”

Identifying triggers is one of those things you have to do when everyone is rational. Parents need to identify their own triggers too so that we can help our children discuss those things that happen during anger.  Do you scream?  Do they scream?  Do you slam doors? Do they slam doors?

Then, when the triggers come, you can put a plan in place instead of a negative response.  Possibly it’s to excuse yourself for a few minutes to gather the thoughts.  Possibly you help your children find an activity that helps them settle down (run around the block, sit in the room with books, get them a punching bag in the garage to work out the aggressions, whatever keeps them from being destructive).  My mother in law always said it’s not good to suppress anger, but it’s good to manage it.  Anger is a normal emotion.

I feel fortunate that my kids can talk to Grandma and they have respected her enough to listen and identify triggers.  I respect my kids when they verbalize their triggers and excuse themselves to manage behavior.  Trust me, they don’t always succeed, and I don’t always succeed, but it has been a step in the right direction.

We are thankful for Grandma Sandra and her great wisdom.

 

Why celebrate the New Year?

29 Dec

The first thing I remember about 2011 was the feeling of fullness.  Seriously, we had just experienced a seven-course meal cooked by my husband and our friend, Karen.  It was a night to remember.  2011 ended up being one of the best years for my family too.  So, we shall end this great year and start 2012 with the same tradition and celebration of a great meal.

Steve and I have been spending our evenings this last week cooking.  Every night, we have been experimenting on desserts, sauces, recipes, unique ingredients and techniques as we prepare for our New Year’s Eve feast.  Tonight we made shrimp salad rolls with a lime sauce to accompany.  My daughter, Julia, thought the sauce looked like baby poop.  Oh how the children keep us humble.  The recipe called for fish sauce, which by the way smells wrong, but when added to all the other ingredients, gave the lime sauce an amazingly flavor.  Cooking is quite the chemistry experiment.

So here is the New Years Eve menu featuring foods from around the world.

We shall start with a nice cheese platter featuring cheeses from France.  Next, will be the appetizer of seared beef tenderloin with a shallot jam served on a slice of Italian bread.  Then we shall have salad rolls filled with shrimp, fresh herbs, and vegetables accompanied by a cilantro-lime dipping sauce.

 Our soup of the evening is an African peanut soup that is beyond yummy.  Our main course will be crab cakes served with a remoulade sauce, which happens to be a Creole mayonnaise that has a nice kick and adds a great addition to the crab cakes.  And finally, Steve has now perfected a bread pudding recipe that will be topped with a hot vanilla bourbon sauce and caramel sauce to end the glorious meal.  Oh…and for those of you who don’t like the texture of bread pudding, he has taken this dessert to new levels and this dessert is basically love.

I will forever have great memories from 2011.  This was the year we traveled to Paris and Italy with our girls.  It was the year I started my new job with Compassion.  It was the year we took our girls and the church youth group to the Dominican Republic for a mission’s trip with Compassion.  It was a year that nobody got seriously injured or sick.  It was the year that I met two of my sponsored children.  It was the year that we delivered close to 4,000 shoes overseas with shoesforkids.   It was the year I traveled with some of my favorite women to Ecuador and the Philippines.  It was the year my refrigerator stayed full, the heat stayed on and we shaved our dog (not all the memories can be good you know).

This year was like a good meal.  So rich, so wonderful, so beautiful that it makes you want to cry with joy at all the goodness.  But like a good meal, it has come to an end and you can only hope for the opportunity to experience another one.  And sometimes the meal doesn’t always taste so good, but at least you have a meal and at least you have food.

And you have life and health and countless blessings.

Aren’t we to live life to the fullest?  Even in the times we don’t have the best of meals placed before us, aren’t we to give thanks?

So what does 2012 have for us?  Well…I know I am going to be starting 2012 with another bountiful meal and a full belly.  And the following day I will be eating again… and again.  Maybe my meals won’t be as extravagant as New Years Eve, but at least I will eat.  And maybe 2012 I won’t be going off to Italy and France, but at least I have an amazing family.

So on New Years Eve, I will raise my glass up high and say cheers.  My belly will be full.  And you know what?  I will be with friends who have seen and been with those around the world who have never had such a feeling as a full belly.  We will all be mindful of this.  But…don’t despair my friends, because having a full belly isn’t life. Having abundance doesn’t equate to happiness.

Having a purpose, having joy, having family, having love, having Jesus…this is the bread of life.  This is the meal to be celebrated. 

 Happy New Years!

Female Friday- Broken things.

16 Dec

It has been one of those months.  The garage door broke =$230, the car needed repairing =$600, and the car insurance is due =$900.  Ouch.  Did I mention Christmas?  It’s been a painful month of broken things, and I am thankful we had some financial reserve.  The timing of it all wasn’t so good with Christmas, but at this point I just have to be ok because we still have jobs and we still have a plethora of gifts under the Christmas tree.

But you know what is worse than a broken garage door and a broken car?

A broken spirit.

This last week one of my daughter’s dealt with a situation that left her feeling a little broken, and friends, the Mama Bear in me came out in her defense as I had to deal with a bullying situation at school.  But last night, I saw a miracle and can I just say this?  God’s timing is perfect.

Just when my daughter doubted herself and her talent, God lifted her spirit and reminded her of her gifts.  Last night, in front of about 500 people, a teacher praised my daughter in a most honorable way for her gifts and talents.  The very thing my daughter doubted herself in.

The timing was so perfect; I cannot deny the hand of God.

He is faithful.  He loves us.  He mends us.  He heals us.  He fixes us.  And His timing is perfect.

It takes money to fix a garage door, but it takes God to fix a broken spirit.

Mothers and Daughters – Female Friday

9 Dec

It’s been quite a week.

The only man of the house (Steve) was in Australia, leaving the three teenage girls, and middle-aged mother to be on their own.

I wish I could say my week with my beautiful daughters was bliss… as we spent precious time bonding and passing on family traditions. But this last week was a challenge.  Girls can be so emotional!  And while I don’t want to sell out my girls, I will say that they are all in various stages of teenage growth and hormones.  My self control and patience was pushed to the limit.  And I wonder…do all mothers and daughters struggle?  Like for instance, when your daughter doesn’t make sense.  When she cries over something that is so…ridiculous.  When she rages.  When she argues.  When she pulls away. When she rolls her eyes…oh how I hate the eye rolling.  How do you handle it?

Several times this last week, I had to take a deep breath and remember that a long time ago, I was just like them.  My body, my chemistry, my insecurities, my attitude; I was just like them.  And in those years, I was searching for myself and who I was to become.  I was longing for love and acceptance.  Thank goodness for my stable mom who loved me unconditionally.

Mothers and daughters.  It’s a complicated relationship. Just think about all the physical and emotional changes a girl has to deal with.  Then add the messages our culture sends to young girls. Eeek.   More than ever, we need to provide a stable home with lots of support for our girls.  But if we are not handling things well, how can we expect our girls to handle things well?

So here are few things that I have to remind myself when dealing with my girls and their emotions.

  1. Don’t take it personally. When my girls are moody, it’s not my fault.  I can’t let their emotions become my emotions.
  2.  Draw healthy boundaries. It’s not ok for them to be wicked; they do need to learn self-control.
  3. Don’t overreact.  It’s easy for me to want to match their emotions…but that never turns out to be a good method of practice!
  4. They learn from their mother.  If I exhibit irrational behavior and emotion, how can I expect them to be different?
  5. Pour on the tenderness and compassion.  Sometimes, all they need is time with me for a little pampering so that I can listen to their heart.
  6. And finally, this.…

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  (NIV 1 Cor. 13:4-7)

My girls continue to teach me about love.

I love my girls!

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