Sometimes it’s an expert spiritually.

Sometimes it’s an expert medically.

Sometimes it’s an expert in the emotions of the heart.

Sometimes its an expert in parenting.

Sometimes it’s an expert in cooking.

Sometimes it’s an expert in teenagers.

Sometimes it’s an expert in marriage.

Sometimes it’s an expert in home improvement.

Sometimes it’s an expert in life from one who has lived much longer than us.

It takes a little humility to make these calls and ask for help. I admit, in our relationship, Steve is so much better at asking for help and directions than me. However, when we do this, whether big or small, it’s always a blessing to see how God has richly blessed us with others who can give us sound advice during the times we need to make good decisions.

You just have to ask.

Thank you to all our friends and family who have answered those calls from the Jones. We love you and I am so blessed you are in our lives.

Then the mother stood there with her hands in her face, shoulders shriveled over in pain, and wept bitterly.

Defeat.

In a few weeks, I will watch my 18-year-old, honor student daughter walk across a stage and receive her high school diploma.

Success.

But Julia once dropped her body in Costco, screaming her head off as a preschooler, causing me to carry her out the door of Costco, back to the car, while she screamed, “help me, help me!”

Hysterical.

My friend held her infant, born prematurely, and watched her slip away into eternity after the doctors took the baby off life support, because there was nothing more they could do.

Sorrow.

After pushing for several hours, the baby girl finally came into the world and they placed her in my arms, alive, pink, and wide eyed.

Joy.

Our friends at Compassion were told their baby would be born without legs and with only one arm. Not knowing how life would be for their baby, they received their little boy as a gift from God. He is adorable and these two parents are full of joy.

Inspiring.

His mom prayed for him as he went off to college. In high school, he was a 4.0 student, raised in a Christian home. However, during that first year of college, he started partying heavily, leaving his faith in the dust. He ended up with a D average for his first year of college. The young man took the next year off school, traveling around, and working odd jobs. Through many circumstances, including loosing a finger to a work accident, he ended up recommitting his life to Christ. The young man then went off to college again, getting a 4.0. He met a girl, and fell in love. That girl talked him into working at a Christian camp for the summer, however, that girl ended up breaking up with him. The boy still went off to work at the Christian camp and met two significant people who would impact the rest of his life.

He met me and we fell in love, and by the prayers of a mother, we did marry.

He met his boss and mentor, who after working at the camp ministry, left to go work for Compassion, and a year later, called my husband and told him about a job opening at Compassion.  19 years later, my husband still works for the ministry of Compassion with that same boss that impacted my husband years ago.

I once asked my mother in law what the key to success was in raising her son, and she said:

Prayer.

When I think of words associated with motherhood, I think of these things. Motherhood takes a different road with every child. There are those mothers that find complete joy in the process. There are those that find pain and sorrow. There are those that feel a great sense of accomplishment and pride. And there are those that live through stories to only inspire other mothers.

I think of all the ways my own mom impacted my life, and the way she loved her children.

Faithfulness.

As my kids continue to grow up and mature, I can now look back and see how this journey of motherhood started long before my kids were born. It started with grandmothers and mothers, through their faithful prayers and patience, and time and energy. They walked the road first, so that my journey might be easier.

Legacy.

Being a mother has been a great…

Journey.

Today, I took the afternoon off to give myself some much-needed down time after traveling to Bolivia. Up to this point, I have been working hard to catch up with the things that I couldn’t get done while on the road. I never really stopped since coming home from Bolivia, and I also had minor surgery this week to remove the bad tissue in my arm. I have a nice Frankenstein incision about two inches long. Steve traveled to Nashville on Monday. Our timing for this trip wasn’t ideal, but this is the life of a traveler.

I finally hit the wall today; tired, feeling weak in myself. So, I took a nap, and then I grabbed my camera, went outside and sat underneath the trees. The sun peaked through behind the lacy leaves. It felt warm, nice and simple. Breath.

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  Sometimes I have to remind myself of this to move past the discomfort of stress.

Never mind the teenage girl drama that came home from school today. Never mind the busyness that tries to steal the joy of doing something good. Never mind the endless dishes, housework and laundry that every family has to contend with. Never mind the inbox of emails. Never mind the incision on my arm. Never mind the barking dog, or the grouchy neighbor.

In comparison to the suffering of those I met last week in Bolivia, my life is simple.

 Isaiah 25:4,5 (NIV)

a shelter from the storm
    and a shade from the heat.

For the breath of the ruthless is like the storm driving against a wall.

  and like the heat of the desert.
You silence the uproar of foreigners;
    as heat is reduced by the shadow of a cloud,
    so the song of the ruthless is stilled.

Yes, my life is as simple as a leaf on a tree. There are days the sun warms me up and there are days it storms, but I keep hanging on to the branch, because it brings me nourishment. I keep hanging on because it brings me strength and life. I have learned from the poor, that His love is unshakable. He brings shade to the parched and comfort to the weary. Oh how loves.

It’s good to stop and enjoy the simple. I am grateful for a sunny spring day to remind me of the grace of God, and the strength of His love.

I finally made it to Bolivia after being delayed in Peru for a night…and I got to see my sponsored child Jeremy today! But first, let me tell you what has been going on in life.

I have had a few surprises, changes, and challenges to deal with lately above and beyond flight delays.

This last week, before I left to travel, I called my dear friend Karen in tears. I was broken. I poured out my womanly woes to her because I knew she would understand. I knew she would understand the sadness of loosing a family pet recently; she recently lost a pet too. I knew she would understand the wrestling with age related issues and how I am feeling the anticipation of saying goodbye to Julia as she goes off to college soon. I knew she would get it when I told her how I was feeling vulnerable. My skin biopsy on my arm had come back positive for skin cancer. I knew she understood this scary word, and though they tell me it’s an easy fix, it’s unsettling.

I compiled my woes for Karen… sniffled, and snotted, as I brokenly expressed my feelings to her. “I have realized I am no longer physically invincible as I once thought, and I feel so vulnerable.”

After listening, Karen spoke words that covered me like a warm blanket on a cold day.

“Your life is changing. Everything is new. You have climbed a mountain and now you are at the top. It’s time to stop and look at the view from the peak of the mountain. Look and see where God has led you, and now look ahead and see where God is going to take you in this next season.”

She continued, “On the way up the mountain, you thought you were physically invincible, but on the on the way down, you will now have a chance to learn you are spiritually invincible.”

I flew over the Andes today. It was a perfectly clear day giving me a glimpse of what the top of the mountain looks like. Mountain after mountain, the peaks stretched toward Heaven, as if to give God endless praise.

After landing in Bolivia, I arrived at my hotel to be greeted by a young man-child. At 13, my sponsored child, Jeremy, gave me an enormous hug and literally rocked my body back and forth with his embrace. The boy, still much shorter than me, had the hug of a giant bear, and I felt myself melt into his arms as if Jesus were holding me saying, “Here is the top of the mountain, enjoy the view.”

The climb can be hard, and so can the decent, but the lessons learned along the way eventually will bring us to reach our hands to Heaven in endless praise. We go through seasons and changes, and it can feel unsettling, so can flight delays.  However, God does give us these amazing moments, like when we can look down at a boy who’s eyes look back to say, “I love you.”

I am looking forward to my week in Bolivia to see the view from the top of the mountain but I also am trusting God to take me through these next few months as I face new changes in life with a daughter going off to college and a new season approaching.

Tomorrow my group comes in to meet me, so stay tuned for stories from the week. I will share when I can.

Love you all,

Patricia

(forgive my typos, I am on the road) My excuse this week.

The title I really wanted to use was, “Why getting older Sucks,” however, I thought that was too negative or maybe offensive. Then I thought about using, “Why Wrinkles and Varicose Veins are a Woman’s Delight,” but that seemed too happy and positive.

Before we go to the happy, bright side of aging, lets take a look at some of the fun challenges.

Today I went to the doctor. I had three pre-cancerous skin thingy’s frozen off, and another “plugged” or “plunged” (whatever word they use to extract a growth off your body for a biopsy). It’s funny, 25 years ago, when I was lifeguarding every summer and using tanning beds in the winter, I didn’t care what the future might hold for my pale white, freckled skin. Now, if I could just go back in time, and have a good talk with “me”, I might tell “me” to use sunscreen more and loose the tanning beds. I am paying the price for my youthful vanity and stupidity.

Then, this last December, I saw Dr. Sunshine (yes, this is his real name) who happens to be a surgeon. He sent me in for an ultra sound for my legs to check on my veins and see if there were any issues, such as clots.

Lets just say this two-hour ultrasound was so boring compared to when you get one during pregnancy.

After the ultrasound, Dr. Sunshine suggested to me that I should have my varicose veins removed. “Excuse me? Why would I do such a thing? After all, these varicose veins are the battle scars of motherhood.” Ok…I really didn’t really say that. Instead, I just listened to him explain the procedure while I marveled in the fact I was having this conversation.

I have yet to schedule the surgery by the way.

Let me go through some other fun things that happen with age.

Let’s talk about hair. Grey hair that is… not facial hair.

People often ask me where my children get their dark hair. “Their mother.” I reply.

I was once a brown-haired woman, but then it turned grey and then mysteriously it turned blonde. Imagine that! And by the way, I am grateful I don’t have facial hair. Just sayin.

Oh yes, and the weight gain. Apparently as you age, your metabolism slows down. This really ticks me off sometimes, because in my 20’s and 30’s I could seriously eat all I wanted. I use to teach fitness classes, which kept me in great shape. However, in my 40’s, I started getting injured more and more, so I had to give up teaching cardio kickboxing and cycling classes. I still exercise, but not quite as intensely. It’s much harder to keep weight off now and I can’t eat nearly as much as I use to.

And finally, lets talk of the chemical changes. Why did God create women to constantly change in the area of hormones and emotions? In the teen years, girls are simply crazy. They are emotional, mood swinging, bundles of joy. Trust me, I have three teenage girls. In our 20’s and 30’s we go through more changes with getting pregnant, having babies, postpartum, breast feeding, body changes, and sleep deprivation. In our 40’s and 50’s women get to go through this thing called menopause, which can also lead to mood swings, night sweats, and hot flashes. Wow. I can’t wait!!

So basically, women spend a majority of their lives going through cycles of mood swings, body changes and emotions. Sorry, I don’t mean to generalize all women like this; I will just speak for myself, and my daughters…and my friends…and my friends’ daughters.  Tell me it gets better in the 60’s and 70’s.

Ok, lets move to the positive.

I love life. Y.O.L.O. – I got that from my teenagers. For those that are not up on acronyms or text language, it stands for You Only Live Once. I know life can be hard, and cruel, but at this point in my life, I am incredibly content and happier  than I was 10 years ago. I have learned to appreciate all that life has to offer and be thankful for the little things. So much of age is in the mind. I believe in,eating right, exercise, traveling, laughing a lot, being positive, living well, living out my faith, giving,  being adventurous, and doing the best with this shell of a body that God has given me. I still like style, I still like styling my hair, using makeup and feeling pretty. I refuse to let the world make me believe I have to look like I am 28 again but I like dressing up and presenting myself the best I can. Physical changes are going to happen, but I wouldn’t want to go backwards. I can’t explain that. It’s supposed to be this way.

Age has healed me of fear. I have spoken of this before, but I struggled in my past with anxiety and fear. I don’t know why exactly in my 20’s and 30’s I had so much anxiety, but again, with a little more life behind me, and a stronger faith before me, I have much more peace in life. I don’t have the fear I use to and this is a freeing feeling.

Age has wised me up.  I think I am a bit smarter than I use to be. Ok…not in math and science, but in life. There are certain things I don’t do anymore because I realize those things are dumb, and I react to stress, conflict and trials differently, hopefully better as I get older.

I guess it’s not so bad to age, plus  I seem to always look forward to the future. I just have to accept the physical properties of aging and be ok with it.

So who is the most beautiful, mature person you know and why?

No exotic locations.

No flights.

No foreign countries.

Just the beauty of the northwest, family and a beautiful birthday.

Spring break therapy.

Spring break therapy!

On March 13^th, 1995, I became a mother to a little baby girl who we named Julia Margaret Jones. She weighed 9.5 pounds and she was 22 inches long.

Steve cried as much as the baby and I felt elated when they laid my baby on my chest. Bright eyed and wrinkled pink, she looked around as alert as could be.

After two days in the hospital, we packed up the baby, put her in a car seat and drove her home. Steve and I were completely overwhelmed at the idea of being parents.

Within a couple days of no sleep, postpartum, and not having a clue what I was doing, I became a wreck. I woke up in the middle of the night with a true panic attack. I was consumed and worried something bad would happen to her. The love I felt for this baby was consuming.

In all my life I had never felt so vulnerable.

Parenting has been a constant battle of trusting God and letting go.  You want to hold on to something you can’t control.

The baby grew and before I knew it, this toddler was driving.

The first five years whizzed by, then she was off to kindergarten. The anticipation of something new was so exciting for her. Once we put her on that bus, I cried my eyes out. Letting go is hard. I would have to trust her heart into the hands of the public school where she learned about math, English, social studies and bad words. She would also learn some valuable life lessons about friendship, amazing teachers, and mean kids.

Middle school arrived, and there would be girl drama.  Oh the girl drama. No words can really describe the girl drama, but if you have a middle school girl, you know what I’m talkin about.

High school came, the girl drama subsided, thank God. She would excel and find her passion in theater, music and travel. She would trust God to lead her way. Surrounded by kids with different moral standards, Julia would choose the road less traveled and stand strong in her faith. Some days she would battle her flesh, become angry and impatient, but then with humility, seek forgiveness.

“Patience Julia, you need to be patient, I know it’s hard.”

This girl, she would travel the world and see things and meet children, and learn about poverty, and her heart would be impacted forever.  She would find a best friend with a kindred spirit who shares her faith.

Now, in her final year of high school (and actually her second year in college classes), Julia is closing in on a season of life.

She can officially vote!

18 years have past and this small baby girl becomes a legal adult today.

However, she will always be my baby girl. I will always be her mama.

I will forever remember the day I held her wrinkled little 9.5 pound pink body, while her bright eyes searched for direction.

Her bright eyes still search…..but I think she has found her direction.

I look forward to what is next in her life even though this birthday seems to be a little bit more emotional for me.

I am so proud of my baby girl.

Happy Birthday Julia Margaret Jones.

This last week I spent a few days in El Salvador visiting these precious faces.

Then I came home, and tomorrow I leave for Philippines to visit a Child Survival Program.

It’s been a good week. The girls are doing well, Stephen is an expert dad as well as the best husband ever. While I was gone, he re-organized my top dresser drawer. For some wives, this might sound strange to have their husband organize a dresser drawer, but for me, this was a blessing. I am slightly embarrassed to confess, my drawer needed some work as I had resorted to shoving things into this confined space, and I really didn’t know what existed in that drawer.  Apparently, I had a lot of single socks that needed a match. For the 21 years of our marriage, Steve has kept our closets organized and our drawers tidy. God gave me the perfect husband to handle my shortcomings.

My few days at home have been fun. Last night, we all went to work with Steve at the Rock &Worship Roadshow. Compassion is a part of this tour, and since my husband oversees what Compassion does in the music industry, we went to hang out with everyone who is part of this tour. The girls always enjoy hanging out behind the scenes to see how these tours work.

This tour was especially fun for Julia. Julia got to see one of her favorite heroes, Scott Brickell, who manages MercyMe. She says he is like a second dad. She had the chance to travel with Brickell (and Steve) to India last year with Compassion. Her strong personality meshed with his strong personality, and they became good friends. Since Steve doesn’t do hair, Brickell became Julia’s hairdresser in India. 

It’s beautiful seeing your children find other adults that have poured wisdom and love into your child’s life.

Brickell ended up letting my girls zoom around on these things. I had a bit of a panic attack when Brickell told them to go out on the streets of Portland to ride around (my youngest child in purple, the dare devil, would surely die). So we settled on staying in the parking lot of the Rose Quarter arena.

Of course the girls then took their moment on stage before the concerts began. Grace was tickled over having her chance to sit on the throne.

What a fun night!

Now, in less than 24 hours now, I will be back on a plane leaving my favorite people behind again. It’s a short trip to the Philippines (6 days), though a long plane ride. I do look forward to being with moms and babies and hosting a group from LifeChurchTV. After this trip though, I am back home for a few weeks so settle in for spring. I will get to unpack!

I am always grateful for our lives and the journey God has us on. Sometimes the business and travel can make us tired, but God is so good and He continually sustains us.

The long, dark winters of the Northwest tend to make some people crazy…like me. I don’t have much room to talk or complain though, as I am escaping soon to travel south. By Sunday evening, I will be landing in El Salvador, welcomed by 70 degrees and Central America’s hospitality. By day, I will be sweating in the hot sun of 90 degrees, surrounded by beautiful mountains and lush green tropical foliage. Though I won’t have time for a beach, I certainly will enjoy warmth.

I am pretty pathetic. I have been home from Peru less than a month and already anxious to find a warm, happy place. I feel bad my family can’t come with me this time, but bring on the sunshine, and lets get the sunglasses out.  Where is my sunscreen?

Seasonal depression is common in my area. I have been a victim of it myself, and for years, I fought the battle of the blues that comes with cold days, gray skies, endless rain and darkness. My husband has been victim to the wife who suffers, and he has dealt with my crazy ideas to break the cycle of cabin fever. The ideas that I have brought to him over the years to “cure’ me, involved remodeling the entire house, moving, building a sun room,  to taking vacations to the tropics.  Steve just kind of tolerated my crazy whims and appeased me by occasionally agreeing to the tropical vacations when we could afford it. We never did move, remodel or build that sun room.

I am grateful that I have been relatively healed from my winter blues for the most part. Travel has been a blessing and I can tolerate the Northwest again because I frequently get to leave it all behind.

The Northwest is slowly creeping out of it though, and hints of spring are hiding behind the corner. Each morning comes a little earlier with the light, and no longer is it dark by quitting time.  The sky is often grey, but we have had days with sunshine.

Still, I love the Northwest. It’s always green here, and we have mountains, oceans, trees, a mild climate, and coffee shops everywhere.

The summers are amazing too and there is no place in the world like Seattle or Portland on a warm July day.

I still do have days where I feel the boredom of winter, especially when the rain seems to never cease, but I try not to let it conquer my spirit.

Here are a few ways I have waged war on my winter blues (other than my travel).

There is no scientific proof that this will cure anyone else of  winter issues, but these things have helped me.

1. Skiing – Steve and I started skiing again about five years ago. It’s expensive, but we try to go once or twice, or three a times a year.
2. Exercise – As much as I hate going to the gym, this gives me a lift.
3. Walks- Sometimes Steve and I will take a walk at night, and the fresh air seems to help, plus it makes our dogs so happy.
4. Vacations- We frequently try to get away sometime during the winter.
5. Hobbies- I love photography, and rain or shine, there is always something beautiful to photograph. I love music too. Often playing piano helps me. Anything creative has been helpful.
6. Getting outside as much as possible.
7. Shopping – Steve doesn’t much care for this idea, but often a trip downtown takes a boring day and makes it fun. Even window shopping in Portland on a rainy day can be fun.
8. Candles – We burn candles every night at the table and I have white Christmas lights up still so at least the darkness has a romantic feel.
9. Setting goals. It’s good for me to establish a few things I want to accomplish during the winter.
10. Friends – Just spending time with friends often has kept me stay sane. I especially love our cooking nights with Karen and Wingman.

My biggest cure for the blues, is finding something that I can look forward to. Whether it be a vacation, or a special event, a Compassion missions trip, there is something fun about having a plan or an event to look forward to. Unfortunately, these things cost money, so making a plan far in advance is key. Steve and I save a year out for most of our big trips. 2014 is already in the works.

Anyone else deal with winter blues? How do you cope with it?

He is home.

19 years we have done this life. We have dealt with travel delays, cancelled flights, snowstorms, 9/11, 3:45 am wake up calls and weekly airport runs. We use Skype, texts, Facetime, emails and phone calls to keep in touch. The toiletries are always packed in a quart size zip lock bag ready for the security check, and the travel wardrobe hangs close to the carry-on luggage. We know exactly how long it will take to travel from our house to the airport, from check-in to security, security to the gate, leaving just the right amount of time for a cup of coffee on the way.

For most of these last 19 years, I have stayed home and held down the fort while Steve traveled his 100,000 plus miles a year. United Airlines tells us he has flown 1,594,509 miles with them in that time.

For the last four years, I have learned this life of travel now that I work in the Tours Department at Compassion International. I am now a “traveler” who understands what it is like to track frequent flier miles, hoping I will make status, and praying for upgrades. I have learned the art of packing just the right amount for each journey. I now know how hard it is to kiss your sleeping child goodbye. I know what it is like to leave when things aren’t perfect.

It’s a different life. It’s not a desk job. The “traveler’s” office can be at home, on a plane, in a hotel or in the field. It’s no longer 9-5. In fact, it can be 5-midnight. Traveling can make you tired, sick,…and grumpy.

When the kids were little, Steve would call home from the road, and it seemed like every time he called, he only heard the war going on in the background. The kids would be throwing a tantrum or fighting, and he would no doubt worry and say, “What is going on?”

I was left to decide if he could handle the truth.

“The girls have become possessed.” I would exclaim.

Then there were the trips when I was dealing with diapers, doctor visits, messes and tantrums, with little contact with people over three feet tall, while Steve was sitting on the beach with adults in the Dominican Republic on a Compassion trip having conversations outside of potty training and fishy crackers.  I was slightly jealous.

And over the years, there were trips when the miles that separated us, seemed especially brutal. Here are words we used.

“Stephen, you need to come home. We found out your dad is very sick. I am at the hospital right now and they say he has six months to live.” 1997

“Stephen, guess what? I just took a pregnancy test… and I am pregnant.” 1998

“Oh my gosh! Did you turn on the TV yet? I can’t believe what I am watching.” Sept. 11, 2001

“How are you going to get home?” Sept 12, 2001

“Stephen, the cat was crushed in the garage door.” 2006

“Stephen, Grace’s birthday was awesome. She loved the Toby Mac concert. I wish you could have been there.” 2005

“Patricia, the cat was killed by a coyote, we are saving the body for burial until you get home.” 2012

“Patricia, the girls are so hormonal, I don’t know how to handle them.” 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012

“Stephen, I love you. I am sorry.” 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012

“I miss you.” 1994-2013

“I need you to be home for awhile.” 1994-2013

“Patricia, the girls need you home.” 2012

Having a job that requires travel has helped me understand the traveler, as well as the one who stays home. Here are a few things that helped us survive.

1)   We have a strong marriage. Not a perfect marriage, but a marriage that can handle it. We have trust for each other. We are committed. We make time for each other, we are proud of each other and we support each other.

2)   We have a family intact. My girls are strong. They are helpers. They are incredibly responsible and they support our work because they believe in it. They have traveled and seen Compassion, and they love the ministry.

3)   We forgive each other. The traveler can come home grumpy. The one who stayed home can also become grumpy. Grace is needed in these times as we readjust from travel.

4)   We communicate regularly. It’s important to stay in touch. (Honestly, Steve is better at this than me).

5)   We set boundaries in traveling.  Steve has always respected me when I have said, “Please stay home.” We can call a timeout.

6)   We are accountable to others and to each other. We both have agreements about our behavior on the road that builds in trust for our marriage.

7)   We set reasonable expectations. It’s easy to build expectations of what it’s going to be like when reunited, however, we have learned over the years by trial and error, it doesn’t always go as planned. It takes time and energy to adjust again after travel and I will never again plan a surprise party for Steve the night he gets home.

8)   We enjoy the rewards. Not once has Stephen ever used his frequent flier miles for upgrades. Instead, he has used them to fly us around the world.

9)   We spend purposeful time together when home. We have family meals and we check in with each other.  We work on the calendar together as a family.  We try to make sure we are all aware of what is going on in the family before we set travel plans.

10)   We seek help.  Steve and I both have parents close by.  Grandmas come to our rescue all the time.

11)   Finally, we love this life. Neither Steve nor I want it any other way. We love what we do, we love the mission, and we both agree this is exactly the calling we have from God. If we both didn’t agree on this, it wouldn’t work.

Hopefully something in all of that can help those of you who are either new at this travel thing or who are struggling through it. And for those of you who don’t have to deal with this at all, possibly you are thankful.These have been some hard learned lessons.

I would love to hear any of your ideas since I am sure we aren’t the only ones doing this and we certainly don’t have it all figured out.