Yes, it’s a little cliché, not very creative, however I am going to describe my current circumstances as “I’m Walking on Sunshine.”

It’s because of the weightlessness in the home this week. Seems like things are normalizing after our last few weeks of…

“Living on a Prayer.”  (We are on a roll now)

We have had a bit o a crazy home from plays and performances, AP exams, doctor visits, all while “Mr. Jones” (ok what band sang it??) and I have kept our travel schedule. It seems like the end of the school year brings a lot of stress in the home, with every night filled with some sort of activity, performance, show, etc. Then you throw travel in there, and it makes for stress.  It’s sort of like….

“Bohemian Rhapsody”

…you can listen to it for awhile, but by the end, you have a headache.

However, I am state side for three more weeks, the AP exams are over, the play is almost finished, the doctor visits are over, and the end of the school year is wrapping up and graduation is June 11.  Then, “School’s out for Summer.”

It’s a “Sweet Emotion.”

Ok, I will stop, I hear you begging me.

Oh, by the way, “I’m Leaving on a Jet Plane” in three weeks for Uganda. Excited to be with my friend Ann V.

What song describes your life?

For real, I love this song by Josh Garrels, and I listen to it all the time as this song often expresses how I feel about my family, faith and life.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR3_Z0zuXJQ

Sometimes it’s an expert spiritually.

Sometimes it’s an expert medically.

Sometimes it’s an expert in the emotions of the heart.

Sometimes its an expert in parenting.

Sometimes it’s an expert in cooking.

Sometimes it’s an expert in teenagers.

Sometimes it’s an expert in marriage.

Sometimes it’s an expert in home improvement.

Sometimes it’s an expert in life from one who has lived much longer than us.

It takes a little humility to make these calls and ask for help. I admit, in our relationship, Steve is so much better at asking for help and directions than me. However, when we do this, whether big or small, it’s always a blessing to see how God has richly blessed us with others who can give us sound advice during the times we need to make good decisions.

You just have to ask.

Thank you to all our friends and family who have answered those calls from the Jones. We love you and I am so blessed you are in our lives.

Then the mother stood there with her hands in her face, shoulders shriveled over in pain, and wept bitterly.

Defeat.

In a few weeks, I will watch my 18-year-old, honor student daughter walk across a stage and receive her high school diploma.

Success.

But Julia once dropped her body in Costco, screaming her head off as a preschooler, causing me to carry her out the door of Costco, back to the car, while she screamed, “help me, help me!”

Hysterical.

My friend held her infant, born prematurely, and watched her slip away into eternity after the doctors took the baby off life support, because there was nothing more they could do.

Sorrow.

After pushing for several hours, the baby girl finally came into the world and they placed her in my arms, alive, pink, and wide eyed.

Joy.

Our friends at Compassion were told their baby would be born without legs and with only one arm. Not knowing how life would be for their baby, they received their little boy as a gift from God. He is adorable and these two parents are full of joy.

Inspiring.

His mom prayed for him as he went off to college. In high school, he was a 4.0 student, raised in a Christian home. However, during that first year of college, he started partying heavily, leaving his faith in the dust. He ended up with a D average for his first year of college. The young man took the next year off school, traveling around, and working odd jobs. Through many circumstances, including loosing a finger to a work accident, he ended up recommitting his life to Christ. The young man then went off to college again, getting a 4.0. He met a girl, and fell in love. That girl talked him into working at a Christian camp for the summer, however, that girl ended up breaking up with him. The boy still went off to work at the Christian camp and met two significant people who would impact the rest of his life.

He met me and we fell in love, and by the prayers of a mother, we did marry.

He met his boss and mentor, who after working at the camp ministry, left to go work for Compassion, and a year later, called my husband and told him about a job opening at Compassion.  19 years later, my husband still works for the ministry of Compassion with that same boss that impacted my husband years ago.

I once asked my mother in law what the key to success was in raising her son, and she said:

Prayer.

When I think of words associated with motherhood, I think of these things. Motherhood takes a different road with every child. There are those mothers that find complete joy in the process. There are those that find pain and sorrow. There are those that feel a great sense of accomplishment and pride. And there are those that live through stories to only inspire other mothers.

I think of all the ways my own mom impacted my life, and the way she loved her children.

Faithfulness.

As my kids continue to grow up and mature, I can now look back and see how this journey of motherhood started long before my kids were born. It started with grandmothers and mothers, through their faithful prayers and patience, and time and energy. They walked the road first, so that my journey might be easier.

Legacy.

Being a mother has been a great…

Journey.

Today, I took the afternoon off to give myself some much-needed down time after traveling to Bolivia. Up to this point, I have been working hard to catch up with the things that I couldn’t get done while on the road. I never really stopped since coming home from Bolivia, and I also had minor surgery this week to remove the bad tissue in my arm. I have a nice Frankenstein incision about two inches long. Steve traveled to Nashville on Monday. Our timing for this trip wasn’t ideal, but this is the life of a traveler.

I finally hit the wall today; tired, feeling weak in myself. So, I took a nap, and then I grabbed my camera, went outside and sat underneath the trees. The sun peaked through behind the lacy leaves. It felt warm, nice and simple. Breath.

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  Sometimes I have to remind myself of this to move past the discomfort of stress.

Never mind the teenage girl drama that came home from school today. Never mind the busyness that tries to steal the joy of doing something good. Never mind the endless dishes, housework and laundry that every family has to contend with. Never mind the inbox of emails. Never mind the incision on my arm. Never mind the barking dog, or the grouchy neighbor.

In comparison to the suffering of those I met last week in Bolivia, my life is simple.

 Isaiah 25:4,5 (NIV)

a shelter from the storm
    and a shade from the heat.

For the breath of the ruthless is like the storm driving against a wall.

  and like the heat of the desert.
You silence the uproar of foreigners;
    as heat is reduced by the shadow of a cloud,
    so the song of the ruthless is stilled.

Yes, my life is as simple as a leaf on a tree. There are days the sun warms me up and there are days it storms, but I keep hanging on to the branch, because it brings me nourishment. I keep hanging on because it brings me strength and life. I have learned from the poor, that His love is unshakable. He brings shade to the parched and comfort to the weary. Oh how loves.

It’s good to stop and enjoy the simple. I am grateful for a sunny spring day to remind me of the grace of God, and the strength of His love.

I finally made it to Bolivia after being delayed in Peru for a night…and I got to see my sponsored child Jeremy today! But first, let me tell you what has been going on in life.

I have had a few surprises, changes, and challenges to deal with lately above and beyond flight delays.

This last week, before I left to travel, I called my dear friend Karen in tears. I was broken. I poured out my womanly woes to her because I knew she would understand. I knew she would understand the sadness of loosing a family pet recently; she recently lost a pet too. I knew she would understand the wrestling with age related issues and how I am feeling the anticipation of saying goodbye to Julia as she goes off to college soon. I knew she would get it when I told her how I was feeling vulnerable. My skin biopsy on my arm had come back positive for skin cancer. I knew she understood this scary word, and though they tell me it’s an easy fix, it’s unsettling.

I compiled my woes for Karen… sniffled, and snotted, as I brokenly expressed my feelings to her. “I have realized I am no longer physically invincible as I once thought, and I feel so vulnerable.”

After listening, Karen spoke words that covered me like a warm blanket on a cold day.

“Your life is changing. Everything is new. You have climbed a mountain and now you are at the top. It’s time to stop and look at the view from the peak of the mountain. Look and see where God has led you, and now look ahead and see where God is going to take you in this next season.”

She continued, “On the way up the mountain, you thought you were physically invincible, but on the on the way down, you will now have a chance to learn you are spiritually invincible.”

I flew over the Andes today. It was a perfectly clear day giving me a glimpse of what the top of the mountain looks like. Mountain after mountain, the peaks stretched toward Heaven, as if to give God endless praise.

After landing in Bolivia, I arrived at my hotel to be greeted by a young man-child. At 13, my sponsored child, Jeremy, gave me an enormous hug and literally rocked my body back and forth with his embrace. The boy, still much shorter than me, had the hug of a giant bear, and I felt myself melt into his arms as if Jesus were holding me saying, “Here is the top of the mountain, enjoy the view.”

The climb can be hard, and so can the decent, but the lessons learned along the way eventually will bring us to reach our hands to Heaven in endless praise. We go through seasons and changes, and it can feel unsettling, so can flight delays.  However, God does give us these amazing moments, like when we can look down at a boy who’s eyes look back to say, “I love you.”

I am looking forward to my week in Bolivia to see the view from the top of the mountain but I also am trusting God to take me through these next few months as I face new changes in life with a daughter going off to college and a new season approaching.

Tomorrow my group comes in to meet me, so stay tuned for stories from the week. I will share when I can.

Love you all,

Patricia

(forgive my typos, I am on the road) My excuse this week.

The title I really wanted to use was, “Why getting older Sucks,” however, I thought that was too negative or maybe offensive. Then I thought about using, “Why Wrinkles and Varicose Veins are a Woman’s Delight,” but that seemed too happy and positive.

Before we go to the happy, bright side of aging, lets take a look at some of the fun challenges.

Today I went to the doctor. I had three pre-cancerous skin thingy’s frozen off, and another “plugged” or “plunged” (whatever word they use to extract a growth off your body for a biopsy). It’s funny, 25 years ago, when I was lifeguarding every summer and using tanning beds in the winter, I didn’t care what the future might hold for my pale white, freckled skin. Now, if I could just go back in time, and have a good talk with “me”, I might tell “me” to use sunscreen more and loose the tanning beds. I am paying the price for my youthful vanity and stupidity.

Then, this last December, I saw Dr. Sunshine (yes, this is his real name) who happens to be a surgeon. He sent me in for an ultra sound for my legs to check on my veins and see if there were any issues, such as clots.

Lets just say this two-hour ultrasound was so boring compared to when you get one during pregnancy.

After the ultrasound, Dr. Sunshine suggested to me that I should have my varicose veins removed. “Excuse me? Why would I do such a thing? After all, these varicose veins are the battle scars of motherhood.” Ok…I really didn’t really say that. Instead, I just listened to him explain the procedure while I marveled in the fact I was having this conversation.

I have yet to schedule the surgery by the way.

Let me go through some other fun things that happen with age.

Let’s talk about hair. Grey hair that is… not facial hair.

People often ask me where my children get their dark hair. “Their mother.” I reply.

I was once a brown-haired woman, but then it turned grey and then mysteriously it turned blonde. Imagine that! And by the way, I am grateful I don’t have facial hair. Just sayin.

Oh yes, and the weight gain. Apparently as you age, your metabolism slows down. This really ticks me off sometimes, because in my 20’s and 30’s I could seriously eat all I wanted. I use to teach fitness classes, which kept me in great shape. However, in my 40’s, I started getting injured more and more, so I had to give up teaching cardio kickboxing and cycling classes. I still exercise, but not quite as intensely. It’s much harder to keep weight off now and I can’t eat nearly as much as I use to.

And finally, lets talk of the chemical changes. Why did God create women to constantly change in the area of hormones and emotions? In the teen years, girls are simply crazy. They are emotional, mood swinging, bundles of joy. Trust me, I have three teenage girls. In our 20’s and 30’s we go through more changes with getting pregnant, having babies, postpartum, breast feeding, body changes, and sleep deprivation. In our 40’s and 50’s women get to go through this thing called menopause, which can also lead to mood swings, night sweats, and hot flashes. Wow. I can’t wait!!

So basically, women spend a majority of their lives going through cycles of mood swings, body changes and emotions. Sorry, I don’t mean to generalize all women like this; I will just speak for myself, and my daughters…and my friends…and my friends’ daughters.  Tell me it gets better in the 60’s and 70’s.

Ok, lets move to the positive.

I love life. Y.O.L.O. – I got that from my teenagers. For those that are not up on acronyms or text language, it stands for You Only Live Once. I know life can be hard, and cruel, but at this point in my life, I am incredibly content and happier  than I was 10 years ago. I have learned to appreciate all that life has to offer and be thankful for the little things. So much of age is in the mind. I believe in,eating right, exercise, traveling, laughing a lot, being positive, living well, living out my faith, giving,  being adventurous, and doing the best with this shell of a body that God has given me. I still like style, I still like styling my hair, using makeup and feeling pretty. I refuse to let the world make me believe I have to look like I am 28 again but I like dressing up and presenting myself the best I can. Physical changes are going to happen, but I wouldn’t want to go backwards. I can’t explain that. It’s supposed to be this way.

Age has healed me of fear. I have spoken of this before, but I struggled in my past with anxiety and fear. I don’t know why exactly in my 20’s and 30’s I had so much anxiety, but again, with a little more life behind me, and a stronger faith before me, I have much more peace in life. I don’t have the fear I use to and this is a freeing feeling.

Age has wised me up.  I think I am a bit smarter than I use to be. Ok…not in math and science, but in life. There are certain things I don’t do anymore because I realize those things are dumb, and I react to stress, conflict and trials differently, hopefully better as I get older.

I guess it’s not so bad to age, plus  I seem to always look forward to the future. I just have to accept the physical properties of aging and be ok with it.

So who is the most beautiful, mature person you know and why?

No exotic locations.

No flights.

No foreign countries.

Just the beauty of the northwest, family and a beautiful birthday.

Spring break therapy.

Spring break therapy!

On March 13^th, 1995, I became a mother to a little baby girl who we named Julia Margaret Jones. She weighed 9.5 pounds and she was 22 inches long.

Steve cried as much as the baby and I felt elated when they laid my baby on my chest. Bright eyed and wrinkled pink, she looked around as alert as could be.

After two days in the hospital, we packed up the baby, put her in a car seat and drove her home. Steve and I were completely overwhelmed at the idea of being parents.

Within a couple days of no sleep, postpartum, and not having a clue what I was doing, I became a wreck. I woke up in the middle of the night with a true panic attack. I was consumed and worried something bad would happen to her. The love I felt for this baby was consuming.

In all my life I had never felt so vulnerable.

Parenting has been a constant battle of trusting God and letting go.  You want to hold on to something you can’t control.

The baby grew and before I knew it, this toddler was driving.

The first five years whizzed by, then she was off to kindergarten. The anticipation of something new was so exciting for her. Once we put her on that bus, I cried my eyes out. Letting go is hard. I would have to trust her heart into the hands of the public school where she learned about math, English, social studies and bad words. She would also learn some valuable life lessons about friendship, amazing teachers, and mean kids.

Middle school arrived, and there would be girl drama.  Oh the girl drama. No words can really describe the girl drama, but if you have a middle school girl, you know what I’m talkin about.

High school came, the girl drama subsided, thank God. She would excel and find her passion in theater, music and travel. She would trust God to lead her way. Surrounded by kids with different moral standards, Julia would choose the road less traveled and stand strong in her faith. Some days she would battle her flesh, become angry and impatient, but then with humility, seek forgiveness.

“Patience Julia, you need to be patient, I know it’s hard.”

This girl, she would travel the world and see things and meet children, and learn about poverty, and her heart would be impacted forever.  She would find a best friend with a kindred spirit who shares her faith.

Now, in her final year of high school (and actually her second year in college classes), Julia is closing in on a season of life.

She can officially vote!

18 years have past and this small baby girl becomes a legal adult today.

However, she will always be my baby girl. I will always be her mama.

I will forever remember the day I held her wrinkled little 9.5 pound pink body, while her bright eyes searched for direction.

Her bright eyes still search…..but I think she has found her direction.

I look forward to what is next in her life even though this birthday seems to be a little bit more emotional for me.

I am so proud of my baby girl.

Happy Birthday Julia Margaret Jones.

I fell in love with this three year old and I spent my day trying to capture her personality on camera. It’s hard to imagine that this little beauty was once on the edge of death.

I listened to Wyne Wyne’s mother describe the day her child almost died. With tears in her eyes, her mother said that God saved her baby’s life.

As an infant, Wyne Wyne had grown sick and her mother could not afford to go to the doctor. In desperation, she came to the church where a Compassion Child Survival Program exists, and with her nearly dead infant in her arms, she asked for help. The director of the program thought it was too late when she saw the baby lying motionless. They had little hope, but they began to pray as they rushed the baby to the hospital. The doctors did not give them much hope either as Wyne Wyne was already too far gone.

Yet, God did a miracle and brought the baby back to life. The director, the mother, and the doctors said there was no other explanation for the child’s healing except through divine intervention. Through it all, Wyne Wyne’s mama became a Believer and gives God all the glory for saving her baby.

This week, I have been in the Philippines visiting a Child Survival Program where 40 moms and their babies come to receive training, support, education, spiritual teaching, healthcare and friendship. They learn to nurture and love their babies in ways that will help their children thrive. They learn about hope, dreaming for their children, and the love of Christ.

The moms I met live on less than $1 a day.  It’s hard to imagine.

I sat in a home of one of these moms and I can’t even begin to describe the conditions. The mother I visited lives in a room on the second floor of a small cinder block building with a tin roof, where 19 people share less than about 800 square feet of living space. I climbed the ladder to get into the room only to discover the space was about the size of my closet at home. Stacked with bunks, her poorly ventilated area apparently sleeps her family of seven. The mother shared her joy of recently receiving electricity.  I couldn’t imagine what it would be like living in this dark, windowless, unventilated room. Today, a fan blew on my face keeping me cool while I listened to this mother tell me how there are days she has to choose which one of her children should eat and which children could skip the meal.  She described to me the painful event of the choice of who gets the small piece of chicken her money could barely afford. Yet, as her baby crawled around on the bed, the mama smiles and says she is thankful for the Child Survival Program because, “this one has enough food.”

The mothers I met this week live in a rough area where the streets meet crime and children fall victim to drugs, gangs and prostitution rings, where people have no hope so they conclude the life they have is all they deserve.

Amongst the hopeless, these babies live.However, the moms I met this week are different than what their neighborhood would dictate. They have hope despite the poverty surrounding their lives. The world around them may be desperate, dark and without ventilation, but their hope is placed in the God that saves a dying baby, and their future seems bright because they believe their children will break out of the bondage of poverty.

There is dignity in this place and new life. There is hope for the future.   

But most important…there is love.  

This last week I spent a few days in El Salvador visiting these precious faces.

Then I came home, and tomorrow I leave for Philippines to visit a Child Survival Program.

It’s been a good week. The girls are doing well, Stephen is an expert dad as well as the best husband ever. While I was gone, he re-organized my top dresser drawer. For some wives, this might sound strange to have their husband organize a dresser drawer, but for me, this was a blessing. I am slightly embarrassed to confess, my drawer needed some work as I had resorted to shoving things into this confined space, and I really didn’t know what existed in that drawer.  Apparently, I had a lot of single socks that needed a match. For the 21 years of our marriage, Steve has kept our closets organized and our drawers tidy. God gave me the perfect husband to handle my shortcomings.

My few days at home have been fun. Last night, we all went to work with Steve at the Rock &Worship Roadshow. Compassion is a part of this tour, and since my husband oversees what Compassion does in the music industry, we went to hang out with everyone who is part of this tour. The girls always enjoy hanging out behind the scenes to see how these tours work.

This tour was especially fun for Julia. Julia got to see one of her favorite heroes, Scott Brickell, who manages MercyMe. She says he is like a second dad. She had the chance to travel with Brickell (and Steve) to India last year with Compassion. Her strong personality meshed with his strong personality, and they became good friends. Since Steve doesn’t do hair, Brickell became Julia’s hairdresser in India. 

It’s beautiful seeing your children find other adults that have poured wisdom and love into your child’s life.

Brickell ended up letting my girls zoom around on these things. I had a bit of a panic attack when Brickell told them to go out on the streets of Portland to ride around (my youngest child in purple, the dare devil, would surely die). So we settled on staying in the parking lot of the Rose Quarter arena.

Of course the girls then took their moment on stage before the concerts began. Grace was tickled over having her chance to sit on the throne.

What a fun night!

Now, in less than 24 hours now, I will be back on a plane leaving my favorite people behind again. It’s a short trip to the Philippines (6 days), though a long plane ride. I do look forward to being with moms and babies and hosting a group from LifeChurchTV. After this trip though, I am back home for a few weeks so settle in for spring. I will get to unpack!

I am always grateful for our lives and the journey God has us on. Sometimes the business and travel can make us tired, but God is so good and He continually sustains us.