Tag Archives: mothers and daughters

Was it worth it?

21 Jan

Early on this Saturday morning I sat at my computer looking at my daughter on skype with her puffy red eyes as she sat next to my husband in a hotel in India.

“Mom, I just can’t blog about my day yet.  It’s too much.”

She would try to tell me stories of her day with her Compassion child, Remya, but I could recognize that her  11 year relationship with Remya, living oceans apart, sharing faith and friendship through many letters,  being teenagers together, being of the same faith, brought a deep sense of God’s grace and mercy into the lives of these girls.

God orchestrated this day in His perfect timing; Remya’s birthday on Friday, Stephen needing to build this trip during this time of the year, and both girls getting close to finishing high school.  Julia needs to take a moment to process what God brought today.  Why this bond? Why this love?  A holy day.  God was in this day, and no doubt the day was pure joy, but parting was bitter sweet.

As I lay awake all night, waiting to hear how the day was going…like a good movie or a book, when the skype call came in, I dove for the computer, but my girl had no words, she just shook her head and wiped the tears.

Last night I had the joy of skyping with Julia and Remya before they set out on the day.

I have met her and her mother, and I love them like family.  I don’t understand this love being that they aren’t family and we have never spent much time together.  So all I can attribute it to is something deeply spiritual that God has done to give us a glimpse of His love for us.  His sacrifice.  And when I think of the two of them being together, sharing letters, time and tears, I have to ask myself, was it worth the money we gave all these years?  11 years, and over $5000.  I remember this little girl of mine at age 5 coming to me with Remya’s picture begging to sponsor her.  Was it worth it?

Did God ask that question when he sacrificed for us?

Money is nothing when you have these moments.  It is more than worth it. And somehow I don’t feel like we sacrificed.  It was in our giving we received the blessing, and today Julia encountered the blessing of the gift.

Yesterday was crazy.  One minute I am skyping with Julia and Remya with tears in my eyes, the next moment I am taking Grace to Urgent Care for an infection.

In the rush of life, I pause this morning to recognize the beauty of the holy moments, grateful that my baby girl at age 16, shared it with her Kingdom friend.  Possibly they will meet again, possibly not.  But something beautiful happened and I look forward to hearing her story…and I’m praising God for blessing that came to my baby girl today.  It was worth every cent.

Julia will post soon so stay tuned.

Female Friday- Broken things.

16 Dec

It has been one of those months.  The garage door broke =$230, the car needed repairing =$600, and the car insurance is due =$900.  Ouch.  Did I mention Christmas?  It’s been a painful month of broken things, and I am thankful we had some financial reserve.  The timing of it all wasn’t so good with Christmas, but at this point I just have to be ok because we still have jobs and we still have a plethora of gifts under the Christmas tree.

But you know what is worse than a broken garage door and a broken car?

A broken spirit.

This last week one of my daughter’s dealt with a situation that left her feeling a little broken, and friends, the Mama Bear in me came out in her defense as I had to deal with a bullying situation at school.  But last night, I saw a miracle and can I just say this?  God’s timing is perfect.

Just when my daughter doubted herself and her talent, God lifted her spirit and reminded her of her gifts.  Last night, in front of about 500 people, a teacher praised my daughter in a most honorable way for her gifts and talents.  The very thing my daughter doubted herself in.

The timing was so perfect; I cannot deny the hand of God.

He is faithful.  He loves us.  He mends us.  He heals us.  He fixes us.  And His timing is perfect.

It takes money to fix a garage door, but it takes God to fix a broken spirit.

Mothers and Daughters – Female Friday

9 Dec

It’s been quite a week.

The only man of the house (Steve) was in Australia, leaving the three teenage girls, and middle-aged mother to be on their own.

I wish I could say my week with my beautiful daughters was bliss… as we spent precious time bonding and passing on family traditions. But this last week was a challenge.  Girls can be so emotional!  And while I don’t want to sell out my girls, I will say that they are all in various stages of teenage growth and hormones.  My self control and patience was pushed to the limit.  And I wonder…do all mothers and daughters struggle?  Like for instance, when your daughter doesn’t make sense.  When she cries over something that is so…ridiculous.  When she rages.  When she argues.  When she pulls away. When she rolls her eyes…oh how I hate the eye rolling.  How do you handle it?

Several times this last week, I had to take a deep breath and remember that a long time ago, I was just like them.  My body, my chemistry, my insecurities, my attitude; I was just like them.  And in those years, I was searching for myself and who I was to become.  I was longing for love and acceptance.  Thank goodness for my stable mom who loved me unconditionally.

Mothers and daughters.  It’s a complicated relationship. Just think about all the physical and emotional changes a girl has to deal with.  Then add the messages our culture sends to young girls. Eeek.   More than ever, we need to provide a stable home with lots of support for our girls.  But if we are not handling things well, how can we expect our girls to handle things well?

So here are few things that I have to remind myself when dealing with my girls and their emotions.

  1. Don’t take it personally. When my girls are moody, it’s not my fault.  I can’t let their emotions become my emotions.
  2.  Draw healthy boundaries. It’s not ok for them to be wicked; they do need to learn self-control.
  3. Don’t overreact.  It’s easy for me to want to match their emotions…but that never turns out to be a good method of practice!
  4. They learn from their mother.  If I exhibit irrational behavior and emotion, how can I expect them to be different?
  5. Pour on the tenderness and compassion.  Sometimes, all they need is time with me for a little pampering so that I can listen to their heart.
  6. And finally, this.…

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  (NIV 1 Cor. 13:4-7)

My girls continue to teach me about love.

I love my girls!

Choices – by Julia

21 Jan

Woohoo! – IT IS FRIDAY

My brain feels a little mushy after working on several projects this week so I have asked Julia to give us some thoughts on this Friday.  She made a big decision this week.  She had the opportunity to participate in her school musical, but she decided not to.  It was a hard decision but TIME of commitment was a huge factor.  I was proud of her for making this hard choice. She is growing up and in less than two months she will be eligible to drive.  Pray for me!  - Patricia

So here is Julia’s Friday post –

Choices

As we get older, choices become more and more challenging. When we were small, the hardest choice we had was which Barbie doll we wanted when we finally saved up fifteen dollars after cleaning out the litter box enough. When we got older we started to make choices about which friends were good for us, and which friends were bad influences.

This year, even though I’m still pretty young, I’ve been making some even more challenging choices. I’ve come to the age where I’ve had to really begin to think about my future, what I want to do, where I want to go, and when I want to do it. Don’t get me wrong, I still stress over the little choices, like what to buy someone for Christmas, or increasingly, who I need in my life. But these bigger choices have been placing a lot of weight on my mind. I have had to give up my favorite hobby of theatre to focus on school and relationships. But when a big decision is placed before me, I do my best not to freak out about it. I talk it through with those people who are closest to me, I pray about it, and then I go through the pro’s and con’s of each. And once I’m done, I know that something good will come of it, maybe I simply have more time to study, or maybe I have time to go and serve more.  Whatever it is, I’m going to face the future unafraid. Ready for whatever is thrown at me, and I’m going to trust God with it.

I know that as I get older, I’m going to be faced with even harder choices than whether I should be doing the school play, or signing up for the Running Start Program at the local community college. And I hope that I face these bigger choices with the same attitude, trusting that God will lead and trying not to get too stressed out. One of my favorite quotes is “its only as big a deal as you make it” (unknown) and I hope that I can continue to view life’s challenges in that same light, taking it one day at a time.

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