I can’t sleep.  It’s well past midnight, and I can’t shut down my mind.  For the last few nights, I have been dreaming about the slums of Kolkata.  I have been seeing images and remembering the difficult things I saw back in 2009.

I am leaving Tuesday for India.  I am taking a church group to a Compassion project in a town called Kalimpong, which is situated in the northeastern part of India, up in the foothills of the Himalayas.  We will spend three nights in Kalimpong and then I will fly back to Kolkata and stay there by myself, while the church group flies on to another destination in India to meet another ministry partner.  I will spend about 30 hours in Kolkata…. by myself.

So, I admit, I am stepping out of my comfort zone.  Actually, this is my third time to India, and each time I have traveled to India, I step out of my comfort zone.

It is tempting just to stay locked up in the hotel all day while I am in Kolkata, but then it feels like a wasted day.

Therefore, I got in touch with a woman who runs a ministry in one of the poorest slums of Kolkata.  I will be delivering shoes to women and children who need them desperately.  Many of the people have skin diseases because they don’t have shoes.  I will be in the slums of Kolkata next Monday….out of my comfort zone, but delivering shoes to make happy feet!

I know what the slums are like in India.  I have seen them before and I know it will be hard.  I know how dark the slums feel.  I have seen evil in the slums, I have seen despair.  Part of me is excited at the opportunity to see this ministry and drop shoes.  The other part of me feels a bit anxious to be without a group of Americans to process and share the experience with.

I find comfort in being with others.  I am stepping out of my comfort zone.  Have I said that enough?

I laid in bed tonight and remembered some children I had met the last time I was there.    My heart was broken; my mind was overwhelmed with the sights and sounds of Kolkata’s slums and the mass of humanity.  I saw joy in those that had faith, in the midst of the deepest darkest poverty.  I experienced spiritual darkness similar to Haiti. It’s hard to describe. Am I scared?

Spiritually, I have been preparing.

India is so far from home; the mother in me feels the heart tug. It’s hard leaving the security of a husband and three beautiful girls.

It’s exciting to travel.

It’s a wonderful experience to be with Compassion kids and I love this ministry.

It’s a long flight!

I wrote another post today that I never finished.  It had nothing to do with India, but since I couldn’t sleep, I felt like I just needed to get this out and share my soul a little bit.

Thank you Lord for always being with me and never leaving me.  I love you so much, I love that you watch over me, you are my Constant Companion.  You are faithful.  I praise you Lord, I pray you remind me of your presence daily, especially when I am alone.

We need you God.

I pray for our sisters and brother in India who serve you.  Give them their daily bread for strength.  Thank you Lord.

I think I can sleep now…  Goodnight.

(forgive all my typo’s please, it’s late)