“The most urgent need in your life is to trust what you have received.”  A line out of Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning

20 years of being a Christian means absolutely nothing if I am not willing to trust God.  Two years ago we bought this ball and chain (land).  With the best intentions, we developed this property and attempted to sell the property with a healthy profit.  All was going well, and we even had a buyer, however, in the final hours before closing on the property, the buyer backed out.  Little did we know that within the next couple of months, the market would tank and our property value would be half of what it was two years ago.  Two months ago, our bank was closed down by the FDIC and now the whole thing is a jumbled mess.

You know, I can share my stories about India and Africa; I can sponsor children and feel really good about it.  We make our house payments monthly, we pay for our cars, we tithe and we have food on the table.  Thank you Jesus.  But, I can quickly go to a very dark place when I see financial uncertainty in my future.  My faith is challenged!  I get anxious and instantly I want to blame someone. 

The reality is we can make all the plans in the world but we will never be able to predict the future. In an instant a job can be lost, cancer may come, death may sting, or the economy will dive.  Where is God in the midst of this?

I am reminded of Angie Smith (Bring the Rain) and what she went through.  In the middle of her pregnancy she was told her baby would not survive.  She carried her baby to full term and had a couple of hours of life with her precious Audrey Caroline.  A year later she was invited to come to India with Compassion.  She hates flying, she has 3 children and she has dealt with tragedy.  Despite all the unknown and insecurity, the woman trusted God to get on the plane.  God used her skills as a writer and hundreds of children were sponsored.  Even despite some comments from skeptical viewers scorning her for leaving her children, she answered a call from God, walked forward into her fear and conquered it in the name of Jesus.  A true example of trusting in God.

In our circumstances, we have 2 choices.  We can either be paralyzed by our circumstances and unable to move forward or choose to trust God.  A mother knows this well. 

Do you remember leaving your baby for the first time?  How often did you call the sitter? If you let fear paralyze you then you will never get out with your husband and have the opportunity to reconnect in your marriage.  My mother-in-law, who just happens to be a Marriage and Family Therapist, would gently force me to leave my children for a weekend at least 2 times a year, just so Stephen and I could reconnect.  It was the greatest thing we did for our marriage.  Leaving my babies was extremely hard but I knew my kids needed me and Stephen to have a healthy marriage.

 What if your financial future looks grim?  It’s tempting for me to get greedy.

Why are suicide lines getting twice the calls in the United States right now?  It is difficult to let go of money and face uncertainty.  It’s American to believe that money equals success, and when it is gone, we often view it as failure. 

I am challenged daily with the uncertainty.  Some days I can handle it and other days I can grow depressed wishing things were different.  It’s like driving on a road on a foggy night.  I can either pullover with fear and get nowhere or I can continue to drive and trust that the road is not going to lead me over a cliff.

One of my favorite books is by Brennan Manning, “Ruthless Trust”.  He writes this:

Often trust begins on the far side of despair.  When all human resources are exhausted, when the craving for reassurances is stifled, when we forgo control, when we cease trying to manipulate God and demystify Mystery, then – at our wits’ end – trust happens within us, and the untainted cry “Abba, into your hands I commend my spirit,” surges from the heart.

As I consider all that I just went through in India I am reminded that in God’s economy all things are relative.  There is that little girl in India who has the smallest home I have ever seen, yet a joy and confidence that I will never know in my spiritual poverty. What gives?  I believe this little girl wakes up each day and just says, “I trust Jesus.” 

I need to do the same.