This last weekend was my husbands’ birthday. One of the traditions we have in our family is to share something we love about that person on their birthday. I told my husband that I loved the fact that he was a great father, and that any future boyfriends or husbands in the lives of our girls will have a lot to live up to. My husband is great about spending time with the girls. He takes the girls on dates, he shows up to all their events, and he spends a lot of time listnening.
This got me thinking about priorities, parents and sacrifice. Here are two families that I have recently crossed paths with.
TWO DADS
Dad #1 -He moved under the bridge. He had a choice of either paying child support or paying rent for his apartment. He ended up homeless to support his kids. He loves his kids very much. His kids are disappointed that their dad is homeless, but until he can make more money, he will live under the bridge because he loves his children.
Dad #2 -This dad is a pastor. He started a church and it grew and grew. This church is one of the largest in his city and has a dynamic ministry. Despite the amazing ministry, this pastor has a son who developed a drug addiction. Recently, his son went into a christian based recovery program. The son was so excited about his recovery, he invited his father repeatedly to come to the church that helped him recover. His father never came, said he didn’t have time, because of his ministry. The son confessed that this has always been the case with his father.
So…what do you think?
I love planning vacations. I love getting on the computer and researching places to stay and what to do. Then, I love getting ready for the trip. Sometimes I enjoy packing, especially if I am going somewhere exciting.
I have been on quite a few journeys in my life, and experienced some amazing and bizarre things. I have witnessed rituals that are not familiar to western culture, I have watched sunsets in some of the most breathtaking places in the world. I have had my head pooped on twice while in exotic places in the world. Oh the romance of travel. I have laughed to the point of loosing bladder control and cried to the point of despair while traveling. I have feared for my life, but felt tremendous comfort from my Constant Companion. I have missed planes, been sick, lost luggage, and been strip-searched at the border (by a woman who was respectful). I have been the recipient of a stranger’s generosity beyond my imagination. My feet have been kissed as a greeting, my head has been touched for a blessing, and my hands have been held by the poorest of the poor. I have seen the work of Michelangelo, I have visited to the grandest of cathedrals, and I have been to the slums of Calcutta. I have been literally surrounded by tribal dancing, children praying and gangs in Honduras. And…. I have seen very big spiders.
We all have this journey in life that we travel. We all get pooped on here and there. We have these amazing moments, whether that is marriage or the birth of a child. We all experience tragedy too. Even the little stuff can make our adventure difficult. Navigating this adventure of life can be rough. It’s easy to get lost.
I love coming home from a trip. Walking into my house, sleeping in my own bed and having all the familiar things around me. Many times while I am flying home, I imagine seeing my kids and husband (unless they are with me) and what that first embrace will be like. I look forward to eating food in my kitchen, petting my dogs and taking a bath. I look forward to my comforts.
Life is such a journey. I want to enjoy it. I want to cherish it, but this journey will end at some point. As I see it now, I am having too much fun for it to end (God willing), but going home is always good. I have faith. In my faith I know where home is after this adventure. I know that my Constant Companion who travels with me through my adventures in this life will be with me when I go home. It brings me peace and hope.
As I reflect on the this world and all that it has, all that I have seen, all the stories that I have heard, as I think about Haiti, poverty, hunger, sadness, those who give up comforts to serve others, those who are grieving, as I think about the brilliant moments of life, beautiful music, fantastic scenery, and wonderful relationships, as I think about the world as I know it, I am grateful that I have a Constant Companion in Christ that travels with me to share my journey with me. He will be there no matter what. Alone it would hard. I can’t even imagine. But when this life is over, I want my Constant Companion to be with me once again. I know where I am going, I know where my home is, and this is my PEACE while I travel.
What is yours?
Monday Letters are an open letter from me to my three amazing girls.
Dear Daughters,
Let’s have a little talk. You need to understand just why I get so excited and a little nutty over all your accomplishments, and why I try to protect you and why I take so many photos of you and why I try to help you become the best you can be. Let me explain.
I just can’t help myself. I can’t help it if I think that you are all so talented, beautiful and wonderful. The mommy in me makes me do it.
You see, most every mother in the world absolutely loves their child. They are convinced, as I am convinced, that their child is the most splendid and wonderful child in the world. This is just the way God made us. Just the other day I was with a mother who proceeded to tell me how her child was absolutely the most talented child she had ever seen. She told me how her child would surely be a “star” one day. Her child’s beauty, talent and splendor would dazzle everyone. Her daughter would have all the lead roles in the school play, and her child could sing more beautiful than the angels in Heaven. Honestly, I didn’t believe her because it was obvious to me she had never seen the three of you in action.
I have come to realize lately that most moms adore their child. The love that a mother has for her child is overwhelming. I remember when each of you were born and looking at your little bodies with such adoration. I could not believe how much I loved you. Oh…and then I left the hospital with this precious, adorable human being and all of a sudden I realized there was no owners manual. Panic stricken, I feared doing things wrong. I didn’t want to be overprotective but I wanted to protect. I wanted a healthy child but I didn’t want to be a germaphobe either. I wanted happy children but not at the expense of spoiling you. I wanted obedient children but I didn’t want to be controlling. Being a mom is challenging. I am just thankful I had your grandmas to help, friends to guide me, God to lead me and a great man beside me to help me raise you.
One day you may find yourself carrying a little person out of the hospital bundled up in a little blanket with the realization that this is your child whom you passionately love with all your heart. You will understand why I goop with love when you play the drums in front of your school, and why I ask you a million questions about your day, and why I believe you could be the first woman president, and why I think you deserve the very best of life.
So for now, you are just going to have to live with my endless adoration and over abundance of bragging on you. You will have to settle with the fact that I am going to think you are stunning in every outfit (ok, maybe not every outfit) and how you sound so beautiful when you sing. You’re going to have to deal with me correcting you when you yell at your sisters or when you neglect doing your chores. I want the best for you, I want you to be good and I want you to know that I am your biggest fan. Deal with that my three little chicklets. That is why I am a little nutty and excited over your achievements. So smile for the camera and let me take your picture. I want to remember every moment. It’s all because I love you and I am proud of you.
Love,
Mom
What has your week been like?
My week has been busy, but nothing compared to my friend, Wingman.
Wingman is in Haiti this week.
Our dear friend, David Stephenson, who we have deemed as Wingman, headed down to Haiti to help with a medical team from Compassion International. David is a police officer and on the SWAT team in Vancouver, WA as a medic, so he is definitely qualified to assist this team. We absolutely love this man, not only because he is a faithful and loyal friend, but because he is the kind of person that would give his life to save another. He also helps my husband cope with all the estrogen in our home. He takes my husband out for recreational guy time and allows my husband time to….. well….I am not really sure, but my husband is nicer when he comes home, so I love Wingman.
Last night I talked to Wingman’s wife to see how it was going in Haiti. She had just talked to David. She gave me the run down and basically said things were tough down there. David looks like a tough “COP”, but deep down inside, he is compassionate and gentle. He loves kids, he loves people, and I know that Wingman is shedding a few tears this week.
Karen told me that the medical team is seeing 100 plus people a day, but that only scratches the surface. There is so much need. They are seeing wounds and breaks that have gone untreated for two weeks. They are having to do amputations and difficult procedures. They are hearing stories that are heart breaking. They are seeing things that are horrific.
Please keep giving toward Haiti. Please keep praying for David Hames who is a videographer for Compassion and is still missing, and pray his family. Please keep Wingman and this medical team in your prayers and please don’t let the business of life keep you from remembering to help those that are hurting.
Wingman gets home soon. I am excited to pass on his stories when I hear them.
There were so many directions I could go this week with my blog. I could talk about Haiti, I could talk about my friend Dan getting home from Haiti, I could talk about my husband Stephen, who was in El Salvador and should be telling his stories to you all (but he resists blogging), I could talk about my great new job with SELF (Support Early Learning and Families), I could talk about Compassion and my upcoming trip to Kenya, or I could talk about my trip to Tennessee this weekend, but I decided just to blog on something creepy. You know, something really deep…
Well… it’s not that creepy. It’s more disturbing insightful than creepy.
This week, I have been watching my girls interact with each other. My oldest daughter acts just like her father during conflict, stress and certain situations, my middle daughter acts just like me during conflict, stress and certain situations and my youngest daughter surprises me daily with traits from, well…. I am not sure (but she is darn sweet).
The other night I listened to my oldest and middle child work out an knock down fight “issue”. They did a good job after intervention, but I felt like I was viewing myself and their dad. I heard phrases, emotions, reason and strategy used by their dad and me when we are… um….discussing things. The creepy thing was I felt like I was looking into a mirror. I had an objective view of their “issue” so I could see things without all their emotions. I watched each girl move into their personalties with their strengths and weaknesses, with their style of communication, and I was blown away at how each of them portrayed me and Stephen. I saw my weaknesses, I saw my strengths, I saw how my personality can challenge someone who thinks and reacts differently then me. I saw a slow processor work with a fast processor, a feeler verses a thinker, a hormonal child verses….well… a hormonal child. I heard what matters to each of my girls, I heard their love language and I was amazed at how similar these two girls acted like their parents. And…with relief, I saw resolution and forgiveness. Two teenagers listening to each other and it ended with kind words and a hug (which I forced with threat but it made them laugh).
It amazes me how two people, with two different sets of gifts, skills and personality, can learn to come together and make it work. It creeps me out amazes me how close to the tree the fruit falls.
Watching my girls interact this week was a brilliant eye opener. As they discussed, I just kept thinking…JUST LISTEN… SEEK TO UNDERSTAND…BE HUMBLE….OWN YOUR STUFF…..and most important FORGIVE…
My kids just keep on teaching me.
Every Monday I try to write an open letter to my three girls with hopes to benefit them and my other readers. I guess its just my way of getting my thoughts out.
Dear Daughters,
’Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the LORD, who has compassion on you.” Isaiah 54:10 (NIV)
I know this last week really affected you. You have worried about our friends in Haiti and you have rejoiced with us in Dan Woolley’s rescue. I also know that having Dad leave for El Salvador this week was a bit harder than usual. At least it was for me. Saying goodbye is always hard.
But our God is a big God. He is a loving God. People will try to explain God’s thinking in tragedy. I heard a well known preacher explain the earthquake in Haiti as God’s judgement on Haiti. Often when tragedy hits, some will try to explain it through a limited view of God. It brings them to say stupid things. Just this week a friend told me at the death of her son, a relative asked if she had unresolved sin, therefore, God’s judgement was upon her. That is just cruel!
Girls, our God is a big God. He is all knowing, all powerful, all present. If we believe this about God, we know that we can not determine why these things happen. Our God sees things differently than us. Our finite thinking can not explain disaster nor can we insist we have knowledge of God’s thinking or judgement. We are arrogant if we think we can interpret such disaster and why God allows it. I think about Job and all the tragedy of his life. Judgement was not falling upon Job. Job was considered most righteous, yet he endured tremendous hardship. God was with Job. Tony Campolo once said that we all have a theology of God and we are all wrong. Only God is right in His thinking.
What I do know is that God loves us. He loves each and every one of those Haitians, he cares about their suffering. He is the Great Comforter. He is compassionate.
When I was in Haiti I met the most amazing Christ followers. With nothing but the clothes on their backs, these people were gracious. They worshipped and rejoiced in the very breath they breathed. They knew the God of Comfort. They did not think about worldly stuff like Ipods, Starbucks, and mattress pads (we just bought new mattress pads), no, the Haitians thought about Heaven and the day there would be know more suffering. They sang without instruments, they sang passionately to the Savior. I learned so much from being with them. I saw a different view of God through the eyes of the poorest of the poor.
This last week has been hard. I have realized it is easy to live in fear when such events occur. I have come to realize though that I don’t want fear to stop me from doing a greater mission with my life. Girls, you will have to make your own choice on how you let these events affect you. It’s normal to be anxious after such events, but you have a chance to seek God and trust Him. My prayer for you is that events like these lead you to compassion. They lead you to action. My prayer is that you do not let fear keep you from doing what God intends you to do, whether it’s to serve in Haiti one day, or be a teacher at a public high school. I pray you see a big God. A God beyond our human explanation, a personal God who loves you enough to send His son to die for you. This is my prayer on this Monday morning.
Love, MOM
After 60 hours in an elevator shaft, Dan Woolley was rescued. I just praise God. Tears, tears, tears. We got a call from Compassion at 4:30am confirming the fact that rescue teams had contact with Dan, and that they were working on his rescue. About an hour ago we heard confirmation from Compassion that he had been rescued. I am so happy for Dan’s family!!
We are still hoping and praying for David Hames.
I don’t have much more to say today except to encourage people to continue to be generous for relief efforts. So much to be done! Click here to give.
The images are difficult to watch on the news, but I have been glued to the TV. My heart is broken. The situation in Haiti is horrific.
This event feels personal. I have been in Haiti. It was my first trip with Compassion; the trip that changed my life. I stayed at the Hotel Montana. I see the destruction of that hotel and it makes my stomach sick.
I think about the conditions of Haiti when I was there, I think about them today, and I can’t imagine. I can’t imagine the suffering.
This event feels personal because I have a friend who is unaccounted for in Haiti and needs our prayers. Dan Woolley was with us on our blog trip to El Salvador. He works for Compassion and was down in Haiti during the earthquake. His wife was on Good Morning America this morning. She said she goes from hope to despair. She doesn’t want to live her life without her husband. I just cried when I saw her. That felt personal.
There are 65,000 Compassion children served by donors and sponsors in Haiti. At least a third of them live in the affected areas. Indeed these children are affected. Many homes are destroyed and it is anticipated many lives were lost. Certainly, many of the Compassion child development centers were affected, if not destroyed. We are still waiting for news. It all feels so personal as I think about the staff, and all those beautiful children.
I am asking you today to help. I beg you to do something. I know that many families are tight in finances, and I know it’s important to find a trustworthy organization to give. Compassion is rated and monitored by Charity Navigators.org and The American Institute of Philanthropy. Both organizations have given Compassion their top rating. Compassion works in Haiti, they have people on the ground ready to go.
Your funds will be used in the following ways:
$35 helps provide a relief pack filled with enough food and water to sustain a family for one week.
$70 helps care for their needs for two weeks.
$105 helps provide relief packs filled with enough food and water to sustain two families for two weeks.
$210 helps care for two families’ needs.
$525 helps provide relief packs filled with enough food and water to sustain 10 families for two weeks.
$1,050 helps care for 10 families’ needs.
$1,500 helps rebuild a home
$2,100 helps supply 20 families with the basics for three weeks.
Here is the link to give to the relief efforts in Haiti. It’s so important we help these neighbors!
When I watched you Sunday morning, I couldn’t help but think about what God is preparing you for. It’s like you are in some sort of spiritual boot camp for your future. Your patience and your willingness to help with the children at our church leads me to believe that you are in training for something amazing in your life. Some of these kids are tough little snickerdoodles.
Six years ago, when I started on staff at New Life Church, several of my friends asked me if I felt safe taking you to this church. They expressed concern. Drug addicts, ex-cons, street people, the homeless definitely bring an edge to the suburban parent. The crowd wears their history of drugs, sex and rock and roll on their faces. Taking you three girls at the ages of 9, 7 and 5 to this church was a major decision. I was uncomfortable. I was nervous to leave you alone. The occasional psychotic person who comes in and starts stripping, the crazy lady that starts screaming in the hallway and the knowledge of the crimes committed by some of our people, can make a mother a little bit nervous. You girls have seen some funny stuff haven’t you? I was also concerned that you would not get the biblical, solid teaching you might find in another church. I wanted you girls to have a good church experience.
But today I watched you. 
Isabel and Grace were preparing the snack for the grade school kids and Julia, you were teaching the lesson. Way beyond your years, you taught children about trust. These are kids that come out of tough situations, some living in foster care, some with parents still using drugs, some fatherless, others from poor families, others with parents in prison. All in all, it’s a tough little crowd, but you are willing to teach them. You are willing to love them, and show them Jesus.
Most every week you girls faithfully help with the kids and I am so proud of you.
I saw you, Julia, how you worked with one little boy, you know his name….a little boy who has no father. He is tough, he is broken and often defiant. Many adults get frustrated with him, but watching you with your gentle spirit is truly inspiring. Those kids trust you for you have faithfully shown them an example of Christ in someone not too far from their age.
Julia, as you taught the lesson this morning on trust, and as you had the kids do a game about trust, I thought about the day when I showed up at this church. I thought about all my fears of taking you to a “street church”, I thought about my concerns with the crowd and how I use to worry that you might be influenced negatively. Today I thought about these things and how I had to trust it would be o.k. I can see now that I should never have worried, for I believe you are getting the best, solid Bible training right where you are at. I can’t wait to see what God does in all your lives out of this beautiful “boot camp” experience.
Thanks for inspiring me today!
Love,
Mom
January Candlelight Dinner at the Jones
Drip drip drip. This is what I have been listening to for several days now. It’s cold, rainy and dark; a perfect environment for Edward Cullum. I was considering hibernation this winter, but Stephen won’t let me. Instead, I am dragging my butt to the gym and I am paying back my debt from eating too much in December. Good thing I started a new job this month or I might be tempted to take off to some warm climate like Hawaii or maybe Mexico.
When my kids were little, I remember coming to the month of January wanting to pull my hair out climb the walls. Literally, my husband and I tried to find a way to build a rock wall in the garage so we could do something fun. Unfortunately, we never could figure out how to do this, so instead he installed swings from the ceiling in the garage to give the girls some form of activity that did not require rain boots and five layers of clothing.
But I would like to remind you of some of the excellent opportunities that await us in January. First, January 24th is Opposite Day. How fun is that? Along with Sponge Bob Square Pants, we have an opportunity to celebrate a day of whimsical opposites. How about a little meatloaf for breakfast?
In addition, January just happens to be National Soup Month, National Oatmeal Month and National Tea Month. Personally I think it should be National go to Hawaii Month too. Maybe it should be National Curse Celebrate the Cold Weather Month, well….unless you live in a warm climate. What ideas do you have for January? Celebrate Anti-Depressants Month??
Ok Ok, I do have some nice things to say about January. It’s a good month to read a good book and a good month to have candlelight dinners. It’s a good month to ski in the Northwest and I do love skiing. It’s a good month to do some deep cleaning too…ok…I am stretching it now.
All in all, January defines the middle of winter. Religiously it shows up every year and presents me with the opportunity to practice creativity in finding fun activities to do while it rains in the Northwest. Oh January….I love how you teach me patience.
I found this quote by Jean-Paul Sartre, “To read a poem in January is as lovely as to go for a walk in June.”
So…lets read a poem….
Bare branches of each tree
on this chilly January morn
look so cold so forlorn.
Gray skies dip ever so low
left from yesterday’s dusting of snow.
Yet in the heart of each tree
waiting for each who wait to see
new life as warm sun and breeze will blow,
like magic, unlock springs sap to flow,
buds, new leaves, then blooms with grow.
By Nelda Hatmann January Morn
Love the poem, but I will be honest, I would rather go for a walk in June.
