I woke up this morning to a beautiful sunrise and I thought…. this is my last morning home. My heart is a bit torn.

I am overwhelmed and excited to go back to Kenya. It was just a year ago when my family and I were in Kenya. It was in this country that I saw my daughter Julia, dance with a child with AIDS.

I watched Gracie be swarmed by hundreds of African children wanting to touch her blond hair. I watched Isabel hold a small crocodile as I stood back praying the little critter wouldn’t bite her fingers off. It was on this trip where we met Hannah, one of our sponsored children. This sweet, shy, 12 year old Maasai girl won our hearts over. I remember my girls bawling as they said goodbye to her…and ….in a few days I will see her again. Just the thought of seeing her puts a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. I also am looking forward to experiencing the amazing culture again; the dancing and singing of African children, the animals of the Savannah, the beauty of a land and the love of the people. I look forward to hearing the stories, to seeing the smiles, to dancing and then laughing at my own awkwardness. I can’t wait until I feel the warmth of 82 degrees after the northwest rains. I look forward to the feeling of adventure with seeing new sites and sounds. I look forward to developing new friendships with these amazing people. I look forward to the dusty roads, to the smells and the sites that remind my heart of what really matters in this life. I look forward to going to church next Sunday in the traditional African style and refreshing my ideas of church. I look forward to holding the hand of a child who has everything in Jesus and nothing in this world. Finally, I look forward to learning something new about God and seeing a glimpse of His kingdom come.

But still, my heart is torn. It’s hard to jet away from my family, especially because we experienced Kenya together last year. I want to take them with me. Instead, I take their hearts. Isabel packed her heart up in the embodiment of 22 pairs of new shoes for kids in Kenya. Julia and Grace, packed up their hearts in a new watch, book bag, soccer ball, art supplies and some other small, fun items for Hannah and her family. My husband packed his heart up for me by getting all my electronic and geek like stuff ready. He continually shares with me advice and safety thoughts and trip leader ideas (he has led lots of trips for Compassion).

So from Portland, OR to Indianapolis, to, Amsterdam to Nairobi I will travel 25 plus hours, away from my secure home, away from my little peeps and my big guy. I will wake up to the sunrise on the other side of the world with a new adventure waiting, and anticipation and excitement in my heart. I will see Kenya again……but missing four very important people in my life who will indeed have a piece of my heart!