I admit it. There are some things that change around the Jones home when my husband travels. For years we would discuss this aspect in our marriage, and at times it was a sore subject. Especially when my kids were little, the change of routine would mess them up. But…the reality is, things do change when your spouse is gone.
Apparently, when I travel, my husband runs a tight ship. Meals are planned, chores are assigned and the daily schedule is managed like a well run law firm. The dogs have their place (in the kennel and not on the bed), the kitchen is clean and everyone keeps the engine running. Sure, there is time for play, there is time for Grandma’s house, but there is definitely a plan.
When my husband travels, I would say the house goes into more of a well run chaotic and dramatic state. I mean, we have our routines, for example, we have a nightly time of hang out, girl talk, movies and fun… and we have our chores like how we are going to clean the house before Dad comes home, and we have our planned meals, like tonight we planned a getcha leftovers or you’re not going to eat, but the house runs a bit more loosely.
What can I say? I have three girls and I am a bit of a freebird at heart, and when Steve goes away, things are managed by a woman who is comfortable with a flexible schedule and creative activities.
However, I must admit, I am always glad when my man steps back in. I like life best when he is home, and so do the kids. We are a good balance for each other!
Right now we are in a season of travel. I just got home from Kenya and Stephen is on the road with concerts for Compassion. Mercy Me is doing a tour and promoting Compassion’s Child Survival Program and well… Stephen’s job with Compassion is the Director of Music and Speakers (or something like that) so….. we let him go and do his job.
It’s still hard sometimes to re-enter from travel. Every time one of us travels, there is a get to know ya stage again…maybe insecurity too. Travel makes us tired and grouchy, and we both get this way after being on the road. But here is the best advice we have ever received…and it has helped us… A LOT.
Never criticize the parent that stays home. Let it go.
That doesn’t mean the spouse that is home can go hog wild and neglect responsibility.
What this means is let it go if things weren’t done exactly as planned. If the house isn’t perfect, the kids are a bit wild, the car has a dent and the cat is dead (yes, its happened). Let it go cause you were gone.
Stephen and I have had to work hard at this for years. It hasn’t always been easy for us, and we still have our moments. But we are getting there, 19 years is all it took. Maybe he gave up on trying to fix me and I gave up on changing him, but we have made it work.
I still like it best when he is home!
Specializing in Marriage and Family Therapy
Life, Family, Faith and Travel...the life of a Jones
Dominican Republic Missions trip
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