Dealing with Disappointment

My daughters love the show, Cake Boss.  They could watch the show for hours if we let them.  For the last week, Grace has been obsessive about cakes, and designs, fondant, molds, colors.  She has been dreaming of making a designer cake. This last weekend, Grace wanted to attempt a cake. She had high expectations…and this was the result.

It’s suppose to be a…uh…something, but something went wrong in the design process.  However, it tasted so good with homemade chocolate cake and buttercream frosting.  Grace was a little disappointed.

Unmet expectations are always difficult to deal with.  Disappointment is such a part of life and it can lead us to feel a bit despaired. Sometimes we become angry with others, sometimes angry with God, and sometimes with ourselves.

The other night I listened to a woman tell her story about having cancer.  She had gone into surgery and was promised an excellent recovery but on the other end of the surgery, the recovery was not as good as expected.  She was telling us how hard it has been to readjust her expectations and to live with the results.

Disappointment is loosing a pregnancy.  You expect to have this joyous occasion and the entrance of a new life, but a miscarriage robs that joy, and life takes a different turn.  I had a friend loose a baby this weekend.

How do we cope during the disappointing moments of life when expectations go unmet?

I know for me, when things don’t turn out like I want them to, it’s easy for me to get depressed. A couple of years ago Stephen and I invested a ton of money into an investment property and it failed miserably. It took a lot of time to recover from the loss and I had to plow through a rollercoaster of emotions.  I had to mourn for what could have been, and let go.

There is heaviness to the heart when life takes a disappointing turn.

We told Grace, “Don’t give up.”

We gave her some ideas, and hopefully she will try again, with some new tools and help from Grandma Jayne (the expert). Last year they made this cake with Grandma.

God knew that we would be dealing with unmet expectations and disappointment in this life, but he invites to bring those cares to him.

“Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7).

The important thing is we don’t give up. We stop comparing ourselves with others, because if we do, we may grow discontent with our own lives.  There can be peace in the disappointment, yes, even contentment, even joy, but we must find a way to live.      The second half of Psalm 30:5 says, “weeping remains for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”

Rejoicing, joy, and laughter, it will come again…and this is the hope that we must cling to when life throws us a difficult turn.  We can cling to the Sovereignty of God knowing that one day, we will enter the gates of Heaven and all the disappointment will be gone.  Until then, we just need to get out of bed and remember his mercies are new every morning.

Because of the LORD”S great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23 (NIV)

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6 Comments on “Dealing with Disappointment

  1. Thanks Wendy – I told Grace. She had great success tonight with a wonderful cake that I ate 3 pieces of. Eeeks! Anyway, she simplified her vision and that seemed to help.

  2. Hey Patricia, Grace’s math teacher’s wife here. You should tell her to ask Mr. Pederson about his baking exploits. I’m sure he would love to swap stories with her about cakes. He has made four or five different ones, and he is his own worst critic. They have all tasted fabulous, as I’m sure Grace’s have too. The “professional” appearance will get there if she perseveres! I think it’s great that she has such diverse interests, as do all three of your girls.

    “There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

    Wendy Pederson

  3. I love this post. It reminds me of some of the best sermons I’ve heard – taking real life experiences of many different people in diverse circumstances and deriving meaning and hope from them. You and your writing provide a great example of what I think Christianity should be about.

  4. just sent 5 pairs of NEW sneakers to you. Let me know when they arrive. Best of luck on the shoes and the fund raisers! Mary

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