When they were born, I didn’t expect it. I didn’t expect the time to feel so short. It’s like a good vacation; you don’t want it to end, but you know your days are limited.
However, I will admit that there have been days in motherhood that dragged. Julia was a colicky baby, Grace was up every night for the first two years of life because she wanted to be held, and Isabel was a screamer. When they all were under the age of five, I thought I might go crazy.
Last Thursday night I went to the middle school because my girls were having an end of year the celebration. Isabel played in the orchestra and Grace had to present her 8th grade final project. As I watched Grace, I had a hard time coming to grips with the fact that she is about to enter high school. I felt a bit panicky and sad realizing that my second child is on her way to growing up.
I vividly remember the day she was born. She had a skin tag on her ear and the doctor removed it. Her scar reminds me of that day.
I remember her preschool days and her shy little spirit afraid to let me go I remember how nervous she was to go to middle school in the 6th grade and how she struggled with anxiety and sleepless nights. And now she is going off to high school? It doesn’t seem possible.
Is this how a parent feels when they watch their daughter walk down the aisle? Is this how they feel when they sit outside the waiting room of a hospital waiting for their daughter to birth the first grandchild?
The years go by like stones under rushing water….
Motherhood is such an experience. It has these intense moments where you feel completely drained of every ounce of energy. Yet, you have these other moments filled with a love that you never imagined possible. You are filled with vulnerability, knowing that your heart could completely break if this gift, this child is removed from this world. You’re filled with intense anger when you feel taken as a fool. You’re filled with compassion when you see your child go through something difficult, and you’re filled with regret when you have failed as a mom. You are filled with pride when you see them accomplish something great, and you are filled with happiness when you get that hug that you wanted at the end of the day.
I will be a mom to end of my life…and for this I am thankful. Time seems to be passing by quickly, and I plan on cherishing every moment.
Specializing in Marriage and Family Therapy
Life, Family, Faith and Travel...the life of a Jones
Dominican Republic Missions trip
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