Female Friday – The fruit falls close to the tree

There were so many directions I could go this week with my blog.  I could talk about Haiti, I could talk about my friend Dan getting home from Haiti, I could talk about my husband Stephen, who was in El Salvador and should be telling his stories to you all (but he resists blogging), I could talk about my great new job with SELF (Support Early Learning and Families), I could talk about Compassion and my upcoming trip to Kenya, or I could talk about my trip to Tennessee this weekend, but I decided just to blog on something creepy. You know, something really deep…

Well… it’s not that creepy.  It’s more disturbing insightful than creepy.

This week, I have been watching my girls interact with each other.  My oldest daughter acts just like her father during conflict, stress and certain situations, my middle daughter acts just like me during conflict, stress and certain situations and my youngest daughter surprises me daily with traits from, well…. I am not sure (but she is darn sweet).

The other night I listened to my oldest and middle child work out an knock down fight “issue”.  They did a good job after intervention, but I felt like I was viewing myself and their dad.  I heard phrases, emotions, reason and strategy used by their dad and me when we are… um….discussing things.  The creepy thing was I felt like I was looking into a mirror.  I had an objective view of their “issue” so I could see things without all their emotions.  I watched each girl move into their personalties with their strengths and weaknesses, with their style of communication, and I was blown away at how each of them portrayed me and Stephen.  I saw my weaknesses, I saw my strengths, I saw how my personality can challenge someone who thinks and reacts differently then me.  I saw a slow processor work with a fast processor, a feeler verses a thinker, a hormonal child verses….well… a hormonal child.  I heard what matters to each of my girls, I heard their love language and I was amazed at how similar these two girls acted like their parents.  And…with relief, I saw resolution and forgiveness.  Two teenagers listening to each other and it ended with kind words and a hug (which I forced with threat but it made them laugh).

It amazes me how two people, with two different sets of gifts, skills and personality, can learn to come together and make it work.  It creeps me out amazes me how close to the tree the fruit falls.

Watching my girls interact this week was a brilliant eye opener.  As they discussed, I just kept thinking…JUST LISTEN… SEEK TO UNDERSTAND…BE HUMBLE….OWN YOUR  STUFF…..and most important FORGIVE…

My kids just keep on teaching me.

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Sandra Jones Counseling

Specializing in Marriage and Family Therapy

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