I spoke at church on Mother’s Day and titled my sermon, “Who’s your mama?” Often men complain that women are hard to understand and vise versa. But for some reason, God made us different, and I am guessing it’s because the world would be boring if we were all the same.
So I did a little research this week, looked at some of the different couples in the bible, and researched the differences of men and women. I thought this could help explain who’s your mama. I did not think up these things, but this came from various research by several physiologists.
While men and women can solve problems equally well, they generally approach problem solving quite differently. Women tend to share and discuss a problem and take the opportunity to explore and strengthen relationships through problem solving. Women tend to think globally. They can consider multiple sources of information and can view elements of interconnectedness, yet this can lead to becoming overwhelmed with complexities that exist. Men typically find that solving a problem presents the opportunity to demonstrate knowledge, competence and commitment to a relationship. How the problem is solved is not as important as solving the problem effectively. Men tend to focus on one problem at a time and can separate themselves from the problem to make it less complex.
Women have four times the connective brain cells to connect their right and left sides of the brain giving them the ability to solve multiple problems. Men tend to depend heavily on their left side of their brain which helps them solve one problem, one step at a time.
This fully explains why my husband looks lost at the dinner table some nights while the four ladies carry on with five subjects.
With stress, men are more prone to fight and flight. Women tend to seek to form bonds, take care of themselves and their children. During stress, both sexes produce hormones and the estrogen of women tends to enhance oxytocin that produces a calming, nurturing feeling whereas the testosterone of men reduces oxytocin.
While this was the research, I must admit I am not always calm and nurturing during stress, so i would like to know who were their test subjects.
Men tend to feel closer and validated through shared activity like competition, sex, sports,etc. Women enjoy these activities, yet tend to feel closer and validated through communication, dialogue and sharing experiences, and sharing emotions.
This would explain why my husband likes me to golf with him, yet why I have a hard time being quiet on the golf course.
So who’s your mama? Your mama is complicated. With all those brain cells swirling from her left brain to right brain she can solve multiple problems and discuss feelings. She can think globally and discuss multiple subjects. She can get overwhelmed. She wants to be close and be in conversation. She wants intimacy. The estrogen that calms her during stress and allows her to nurture, can make your mama a little crazy at times. Your mama is a woman, created in the image of God, formed by God knit by God. She is loved by God. Man can be her mate, her best friend, her lover, but only God can be her Savior. She might be able to depend on a man to cherish her, but not always understand her. This is your mama.
Content from “Understanding The Difference Between Men and Women” – Michael G. Conner Psy. D
Specializing in Marriage and Family Therapy
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