Mothers and Daughters – Female Friday

It’s been quite a week.

The only man of the house (Steve) was in Australia, leaving the three teenage girls, and middle-aged mother to be on their own.

I wish I could say my week with my beautiful daughters was bliss… as we spent precious time bonding and passing on family traditions. But this last week was a challenge.  Girls can be so emotional!  And while I don’t want to sell out my girls, I will say that they are all in various stages of teenage growth and hormones.  My self control and patience was pushed to the limit.  And I wonder…do all mothers and daughters struggle?  Like for instance, when your daughter doesn’t make sense.  When she cries over something that is so…ridiculous.  When she rages.  When she argues.  When she pulls away. When she rolls her eyes…oh how I hate the eye rolling.  How do you handle it?

Several times this last week, I had to take a deep breath and remember that a long time ago, I was just like them.  My body, my chemistry, my insecurities, my attitude; I was just like them.  And in those years, I was searching for myself and who I was to become.  I was longing for love and acceptance.  Thank goodness for my stable mom who loved me unconditionally.

Mothers and daughters.  It’s a complicated relationship. Just think about all the physical and emotional changes a girl has to deal with.  Then add the messages our culture sends to young girls. Eeek.   More than ever, we need to provide a stable home with lots of support for our girls.  But if we are not handling things well, how can we expect our girls to handle things well?

So here are few things that I have to remind myself when dealing with my girls and their emotions.

  1. Don’t take it personally. When my girls are moody, it’s not my fault.  I can’t let their emotions become my emotions.
  2.  Draw healthy boundaries. It’s not ok for them to be wicked; they do need to learn self-control.
  3. Don’t overreact.  It’s easy for me to want to match their emotions…but that never turns out to be a good method of practice!
  4. They learn from their mother.  If I exhibit irrational behavior and emotion, how can I expect them to be different?
  5. Pour on the tenderness and compassion.  Sometimes, all they need is time with me for a little pampering so that I can listen to their heart.
  6. And finally, this.

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  (NIV 1 Cor. 13:4-7)

My girls continue to teach me about love.

I love my girls!

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7 Comments on “Mothers and Daughters – Female Friday

  1. Gigi,
    That is encouraging to hear that your sisters are your best friends. I pray this for my girls!
    Thanks!

  2. I’m one of three girls, the oldest. We are now 45, 42, and 40. We fought like cats and dogs when we were kids. Now they are my best friends. Hope! Thanks for these words. I’m passing your blog on to my sisters. They each have a daughter. I have 3 boys! I’m in the reverse situation! Even our dog is a male! Help!!! Pass the estrogen. Haha! They are wonderful! I’m learning about love from them, too.

  3. thanks! As a mom of three girls- 12, 10, 4 ( ironically also with the last name, Jones!), I needed this reminder and encouragement! Very timely 🙂

    It’s so hard some days not to take it personally….it’s true, I want/long to provide a stable and love my girls unconditionally….

    Carrie

  4. I have girls and I totally get this. Thank you for listing some ways to get through some of the hard times. I love my girls, but it sure gets hard sometimes (for me and for them) Thanks for this timely post.

  5. Cassandra, it is a sweet relationship isn’t it. Sometimes with challenges, but most of the time truly enjoyable. I am soaking up every minute before they are grown up.
    Thanks for following my blog!

  6. You do not know me, but I love your blog and this one spoke to me in such a sweet way. I remember all of these feelings and how patient my mother was with me. I also remember almost 6 years ago when I had my own daughter telling my mother that I knew now that I couldn’t have possibly loved her as much as she did me, something you can only know when you have children of your own. One day I pray that you will get to experience this closeness with your own girls. Mama’s and daughter’s it’s such a sweet relationship.

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