As I cycled up the brutal hill on 1st street today, I had to remind myself that it would get easier once I made it to the top. That hill always makes me imagine I’m shedding about 10 pounds (in my dreams), or it makes me feel like I am about to burst my aorta. However, in my commitment to exercise, I made it to the top of the hill without the involvement of a paramedic (which I am thankful for) or loosing 10 pounds (which was unfortunate), but it was a sweet ride down once I made it.
Climbing that hill today, I was reminded of those hard years when my girls were little. I always felt a little crazy living in the constant chaos and calamity of three small children, who exercised their right to be heard. Stephen would travel, leaving me home with these supposedly precious little girls, who seemed harmless on the outside, but had the power to make me want to crawl out of my skin. I craved quiet. I craved peace, but my world was far from it. My world was chaos, tantrums, messes, sicknesses, and constant movement. Stephen lived through many phone calls from a crazed mom on the edge of life, ready to check herself in to the loony tune farm. That was my life back then. I would use a lot of self-talk in those days, to the point my girls probably thought I had an imaginary friend, and I would tell myself, “It will get easier.”
I don’t chase little kids around in a noisy, messy house anymore. I am not wiping snotty noses these days or cleaning up spilled cereal, milk or Lego’s. Occasionally, we still have to wipe some tears, and pick up the pieces of someone’s heart, but this is only to be expected in the life of a mother of teenage girls.
Now, I sit and sip coffee without interruptions, and I can read my bible in a quiet space, and often my girls will sit with me and have adult conversations. They tell me stories that sometimes make me laugh so hard I can’t breath.
What an honor to be a part of the plans that God has for my children, and to have climbed that hill that has made them who they are …and made me who I am. Without that difficult hill, the top wouldn’t be so breathtaking…right?
Perhaps, I will just stay here at the top for a while, and pause to enjoy the view of what God has given me, and look at these girls and say to myself, “it was worth the climb.”
I have some friends that are still in midst of those baby years, raising young human types, dealing with those messes, tantrums and struggles that come with the package of little people. Those sleepless night, and lonely days of feeling exhausted are indeed hard hills to climb. I get it. But, I can promise this. It will get easier. Keep pushing your way up that hill, because one day, you will look back and enjoy a beautiful view.
“It will get easier.”
Specializing in Marriage and Family Therapy
Life, Family, Faith and Travel...the life of a Jones
Dominican Republic Missions trip
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