As I cycled up the brutal hill on 1st street today, I had to remind myself that it would get easier once I made it to the top. That hill always makes me imagine I’m shedding about 10 pounds (in my dreams), or it makes me feel like I am about to burst my aorta. However, in my commitment to exercise, I made it to the top of the hill without the involvement of a paramedic (which I am thankful for) or loosing 10 pounds (which was unfortunate), but it was a sweet ride down once I made it.
Climbing that hill today, I was reminded of those hard years when my girls were little. I always felt a little crazy living in the constant chaos and calamity of three small children, who exercised their right to be heard. Stephen would travel, leaving me home with these supposedly precious little girls, who seemed harmless on the outside, but had the power to make me want to crawl out of my skin. I craved quiet. I craved peace, but my world was far from it. My world was chaos, tantrums, messes, sicknesses, and constant movement. Stephen lived through many phone calls from a crazed mom on the edge of life, ready to check herself in to the loony tune farm. That was my life back then. I would use a lot of self-talk in those days, to the point my girls probably thought I had an imaginary friend, and I would tell myself, “It will get easier.”
Sure enough, life did get easier.
I don’t chase little kids around in a noisy, messy house anymore. I am not wiping snotty noses these days or cleaning up spilled cereal, milk or Lego’s. Occasionally, we still have to wipe some tears, and pick up the pieces of someone’s heart, but this is only to be expected in the life of a mother of teenage girls.
Now, I sit and sip coffee without interruptions, and I can read my bible in a quiet space, and often my girls will sit with me and have adult conversations. They tell me stories that sometimes make me laugh so hard I can’t breath.
The hill was worth the climb, because now I look at their beautiful smiles, and how amazing they are in all their talents and gifts. God has been good.
What an honor to be a part of the plans that God has for my children, and to have climbed that hill that has made them who they are …and made me who I am. Without that difficult hill, the top wouldn’t be so breathtaking…right?
Perhaps, I will just stay here at the top for a while, and pause to enjoy the view of what God has given me, and look at these girls and say to myself, “it was worth the climb.”
I think this is why I paused so long from blogging this summer. I just soaked them in.And enjoyed the view this summer.
I have some friends that are still in midst of those baby years, raising young human types, dealing with those messes, tantrums and struggles that come with the package of little people. Those sleepless night, and lonely days of feeling exhausted are indeed hard hills to climb. I get it. But, I can promise this. It will get easier. Keep pushing your way up that hill, because one day, you will look back and enjoy a beautiful view.
“It will get easier.”
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Thank you so much for this post. I have two little ones and would love more, if God would allow. Some days I think I am crazy for wanting more! But then I remember watching my younger siblings grow up and I keep thinking of how even though I want to pull my hair out right now, kids truly are a blessing. Thank you for reminding me of what’s in store at the top of the hill.
Super encouraging to read. Four kids ages 2-8, and sometimes it feels like I will never make it to the top of the hill! Yet knowing that when we finally crest the hill and begin the easy ride down, we will somehow miss certain aspects of “the climb”. Thanks for the defibrillator that was your blog today.
Jill, you have a beautiful family and I admire you for how you are raising your beautiful girls. Blessings friend!
Kendra, I feel your pain as if it was yesterday. Hang in there sister!
This made me cry…we are poised and ready to start our 6th year of homeschooling and after a 45 minute violin practice session I’m ready to enroll my girls in school. I don’t know if I have it in me to teach them every subject every day this year….but I know it will be worth it if I can just persevere.
My girls are 5, 3 and *almost 1. My husband is leaving in a week for back to back trips (total of 2 weeks). Lord, help me! 😉 Thanks for the reminder that it’s worth the climb.
Thank you for sharing …….I remember those days of long ago……we started with the two of us and now we have 21 in our family…with our children, their mates, their children and now 4 beautiful great-grandchildren. What a blessing and God is so good. “The best is yet to come!!!!”
Mary Margaret, You and Marc are just trying to spread the blessings out. Your doing the rolling hills version of parenting. I love it!
You always encourage me Patricia! You and Steve have always been a standard and inspiration to me as parents because you are real and transparent. I believe God has put Marc and I on the slow-release empty nest program…every five years we begin the process again with a new baby, so thanks for the perspective that they do grow up. (No more kids for us!)
This made me cry Patricia. I so agree. Parenting is not an easy job but it’s the best job. And it’s so sweet when it starts to pay off. 🙂 thanks, once again for your beautiful words.
Well said! Loved it and can totally relate. Glad you took the summer off to enjoy your fam. I did miss your humor and insight so glad to see you’re back!
I was going to comment by clicking the link below but the page has an error and the last post I see was from one back in June.