It was 10:50 am on Saturday morning, when it actually hit me like a hurricane, just how much my life was about to change again. I can’t seem to control it either. I can’t make life freeze in place; I can’t go back, I can only move forward.
On Saturday morning, I was sitting with my family in the auditorium of Belmont University in Nashville, TN, listening to the dean of music discuss the music program. The room was filled with about 300 hundred young people waiting to audition for the music program, where 50% of those auditioning would never make it in, and only 25% of those that were accepted, would receive any kind of scholarship. Grace’s audition time was to start at 11 am, so at 10:50 am, Grace got up from her seat, and with a deep breath, she walked out of the room to go audition for her future.In that moment, a rush of emotion overcame me. I thought about the fact that my daughters’ future rested in her breath to play music on her instrument. God was the one that gave her the breath of life, and now she would breath air into her instrument to bring it to life. Her fingers that were once so small, now all grown, would stretch long, to skillfully play her bassoon, to give it the sounds it needed to become what Mozart would have wanted. In that very moment on Saturday morning, her entire future might be decided. I realized, this could be the very moment that takes my baby 3000 miles away from home.
As my eyes welled with tears, I began to pray. I realized I was far more nervous than Grace. After all, she had played her instrument so many times under pressure. She had mastered her instrument. She had mastered the Mozart, she knows music, she lives music, and she feels music. She knows time signatures, rhythms, key signatures, circle of 5th, major and minor scales, and things I left behind in lessons years ago.
My heart raced for the next two hours as I waited for her to reappear after the audition. When she did reappear, she was so beautiful with all her nervous energy. Academia would now decide her fate. Maybe it would be Belmont, and maybe it would be some other lucky college, but I began to realize, all those lessons, all those times I drove her from one music event to the other, all the nerves, recitals, money, performances, concerts, hours of late night practicing long after bed time, just might take my little girl to her dream.
When we raise our kids and put them in sports, put them in music, spend hours investing time and energy in their hobbies and interests, we can only hope it will help them blossom and help them dream big dreams.
This last Saturday, my baby girl did her thing, and I saw her reach out to her dream of becoming a writer of music, a score writer for movies, someone who masters music. I saw her come to life all over again.
Now we wait for the results.
Specializing in Marriage and Family Therapy
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