From Throwing The Bride’s Veil Away to Honeymoon – The Mother of the Bride Survives

I threw my daughters veil away days before the wedding. Luckily, Julia found it in the garbage before it was damaged, or too late. It was a total accident on my part. I was trying to help out with cleaning the room, as Julia was moving out. She was away at work, I found this plastic bag in her room, and thought it was empty. I neglected to look inside to see it contained the veil.

Just a few days ago, we celebrated Julia and Luke’s wedding. The day was beautiful and a total blast, and yes, Julia had that veil on.

Photo credit: Skylar St. John

Photo credit: Skylar St. John

After the wedding on Monday, I wrote this on Facebook.

Everyone said I would be exhausted after the wedding. I thought to myself, how bad could it be? After all Tracie Wyche Shoote, our MVP aka wedding coordinator was the most amazing help ever. Any time people would come to me with questions (and Julia too), we just could say “Tracie is in charge”. And she took it and made everything stunning and perfect. I had so much fun celebrating my daughter and my amazing new son, Luke Jech. I am so proud of both of them. We had friends and family help with everything to the point I just showed up and got to spend a day cherishing every moment, and then dancing the night away to an amazing band, Dance Hall Days. I was so proud of Grace Jones for writing the music for the ceremony and coordinating our violin and cello player. I was so proud of all my girls and bridesmaids, groomsmen who helped out so much. It’s fun to know Luke’s parents are celebrating 25 years of marriage like Stephen Jones and me. It was fun to see so many people who have poured into Julia and Luke’s life from the many years. After the great ceremony, food, and then dancing, we lit sparklers to send the couple off for their honeymoon. I held it together until they drove away and then I sobbed. I was a hot mess with feeling so happy for them, but letting go of an era. My friends are right. I’m totally exhausted today from all the emotions. But it’s so worth it and I am beyond happy for these two beautiful human beings.

I am still exhausted.

This Sunday, I am flying to Australia to meet up with Stephen to celebrate 25 years of marriage. I haven’t even thought about the trip. I have the plane ticket, the hotel booked, but the reality of it hasn’t even sunk in, because I am still trying to process Luke and Julia’s wedding.

To all my friends I work with, I am so sorry. I am sorry I am not myself this week. I realize I am more emotional than usual.

Tonight, Steve and I curled up on the couch, he watched HawaiiFive-O and I decided to update the blog. Later, we are going out to lay in the hammock under the trees.

A wedding is something to celebrate. I loved every minute. I soaked in every moment with my daughter.

Photo credit Emily Perez

Photo credit Emily Perez

I didn’t get crazy in a bad way. I didn’t try to control the day. I just had fun. At one point, I looked at my daughter, moments before she walked down the aisle, I held her cheeks in my hands, and told her I loved her. Then she started to cry, and I did too, so I waved my hands in front of my face, as if to protect the gobs of makeup that the tears were going to ruin.

As I walked down the aisle before her, I looked at the crowd, only reminded of my own wedding. Then I sat in the front row, witnessing something before my eyes, as if God were painting art before me. The music Grace had written, my daughter and husband walking, walking, walking, and then I looked at Luke. Smiling, young, and proud. His vows cherished my daughter. As the ceremony went on, my husband was a snorting, sniffling mess. Me? I was determined to hold it together.

After the ceremony we celebrated. We ate a feast, we danced, and we toasted the bride and groom. We did our best as parents to afford a wedding that Luke and Julia would remember all their days.

Monday came, and I was truly exhausted. Tuesday came, and I went back to work, and still exhausted. Wednesday came, and yep, I was at work and still felt tired. But my heart is full. My heart is full.

The other day, we got a simple text from Julia, how her and Luke swam in a pod of dolphins in Hawaii. I soaked it in. It felt so good to hear from her. I realized though, I am still in process of letting go.

The two shall become one.”

 The emotional let go, is more than I anticipated, but I know in my heart it will be ok, because Luke and Julia are simply amazing people, and belong together. I am very proud of them.

I love you both.

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Specializing in Marriage and Family Therapy


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