Monday Letters – Sisterhood

Dear Daughters,

I look forward to our week together as Dad travels.  I always miss him, but I love having time to talk about girl stuff.  I am hoping you little ladies won’t fight this week and that you can appreciate the amazing gift you have in your sisters.  As Dad and I always tell you, the way you treat your sisters now will determine the kind of relationships you will have in the future.    

It’s funny to think way back to when you were little.  When Julia was born, I had two years with just her. When Grace was born, I was really worried that Julia would struggle sharing me and I was concerned that she would feel sad, jealous and abandoned (new mothers are a little bit crazy).  In fact, I remember talking to the nurse about this.  The nurse told me that Grace was the greatest gift Julia would ever get.  They would be best friends for life.  By the time Isabel rolled around, I didn’t even worry about such things. 

I know that there are times that you have some knock-down fights.  That is normal.  But my prayer is that you always appreciate the amazing qualities each one of you possess and remember how much in common you share. Besides me and Dad, your sisters are the only ones that will remember your trip to Indonesia and the giant spider on the wall.  They are the only friends in town that you will have who will remember going to Kenya and seeing a lioness and her cubs eating the carcass of a zebra. Your sisters will remember your first boyfriend and they will get you through your first heartbreak.  Your sisters will laugh with you when you secretly make fun of me a Dad.  They will share your stories when you talk about driving with Grandma Sandra.  You all can laugh at the fact that Grandma can talk her way out of speeding tickets by using the three of you for an excuse.  Friends are really important, but your sisters are invaluable.

Italy 07 066My sisters were both a few years older than me, but that did not stop the bond. My sisters introduced me to music, like Three Dog Night, yes, and Simon and Garfunkel. They babysat me and took turns sharing a room with me because I was afraid to sleep by myself.  We also shared grief together when our dad died.  Weddings, funerals, holidays, divorce; we have all walked through a lot of life together.  I am thankful for my sisters.  I am thankful that Maggie lives in Oregon and that we have each other.  She loves you girls so much and that is very special for me to see my sister love my children. 

I want you to know, I will do all I can to protect your relationships with each other.  I try to be the peacemaker and try very hard to keep you girls talking to each other.  I want you to share your feelings and want you to see each others qualities like I see your qualities.   

There is a famous set of sisters in the Bible and we get a glimpse of their relationship.  Mary and Martha obviously were close, and shared a bond in that they both loved Jesus. 

 Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:38-42).

 I love this story about the sisters because you have the task master sister (maybe a bit like Julia and Isabel) and you have the sister that sat with Jesus (Grace).  Sometimes it’s tempting to let all our tasks distract us from truly what is important, and that is relationship, relationship with Jesus and relationship with each other.  Don’t get too busy with life and forget about what is most important. 

So my little ladies, think about these things, think about your sisters and don’t take these precious relationships for granted.



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Sandra Jones Counseling

Specializing in Marriage and Family Therapy


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