Over the last couple of days I found myself in silence, which is rare for me. I have been in Colorado Springs training with Compassion International, but each evening I have had time by myself. One night I did venture out and enjoy a couple of friends who filled my soul up, but then I came back to my room and was alone.
I didn’t turn on the TV over the last few days, instead I read, I prayed, I worked and I wrote. I watched the snow fall outside my window and it was mesmerizing. In the morning I would wake up, get ready, and take time to sit silently in my room once again. I read and I prayed some more. Then I got in my car and parked on the side of the road and admired the beauty of the snow with the sun rising in the sky. I wasn’t in a hurry, I took my time.
I use to get lonely when I was by myself and I would go a little nutty. Now I cherish these times because, well….. I rarely find silence in my life. Rarely do I sit and be still. Noise distracts me, the phone rings, the dogs bark, my husband’s voice carries through the house as he works from his office, and I hustle and bustle with my work through out the day. Then my kids come home from school and they talk ….and then they talk some more ….When they aren’t talking, they are watching tv, or playing music, or practicing their instruments. Night time isn’t much different.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the loud noises of my children, I love all the action, I love people and I am a major extravert. I love talking to friends, watching movies, listening to music…. and because I love all this stuff, I neglect listening to God. I forget to stop and be still. It’s almost like I need to press the pause button so that my mind can calm down and I can decompress.
Before I had kids, I had more “quiet time”. My devotions weren’t squeezed in between my breakfast, a phone call and a work out. Sometimes I would go find a quiet place outside and just listen to the life around me, like the birds and the wind. I would just stop and appreciate the beauty of God’s creation.
Like exercise and eating healthy take discipline, so does sitting still before God. But…just like a good friend fills up the soul, so can time with God…
being still…..and then……
a still, quiet voice fills the space….
and it’s a beautiful sound.
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I can totally relate. I used to be super-extroverted, never wanted time alone. And then as I got married, had children, and my relational space was always full, my desire and need for silence and alone time increased drastically.
I’m still energized by time with people, most of the time, but I protect my alone time very carefully.
Last spring I went away by myself overnight for just a little retreat. I had so much *fun* in the silence.